“I’m sorry. I knew that. You just surprised me with that ostrich nonsense.”
She nodded her acceptance of his apology, though he could tell she didn’t like the “nonsense” reference.
“Actually, I was pretty sure you would say no to the ostriches, and it was my second-best idea, anyway. My first idea is really good. Wanna hear?”
What could he say? “Sure.”
“A dude ranch,” she said bluntly.
He closed his eyes and counted to ten.
“To be more specific, a beauty spa dude ranch.”
He decided to count to twenty.
“Oh, Rusty, have an open mind about this. We could hire some real hunky cowboys… you know, cover model types, but they would have to be ranch hands, too. Well, they would have to at least be able to ride a horse.”
“Hunky cowboys?” he sputtered.
“Women would flock here in droves.”
“Yep, I really want a flock of females running amongst the cattle. They’d spook ’em for sure.”
“They could ride horses. Once they’ve taken riding lessons, of course.”
“Who would be giving riding lessons?”
“And we could turn that big shed into a spa, complete with whirlpools and saunas and massage tables. Not to mention hairstyling stations.”
“And where would we be parking the tractors and hay wagons, once you take over the shed?”
She waved a hand dismissively as if that were a minor point. “Rachel could come up and design the whole thing, Feng Shui style. Wouldn’t that be great?”
She wants to Feng Shui a shed. Have I died and gone to Bayou Bedlam? What he said was, “Just great!”
Charmaine missed the sarcasm, though, because she barreled ahead, “I researched dude ranches on the Internet, too. Guess what some of these places charge per person for one week? Five thousand dollars. And I figure we could handle a dozen guests at one time, especially if we put an addition on the bunkhouse.”
Five thousand dollars! That got his attention. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
“Really. And this fifty thousand dollars could be the seed money we need for starting such a project.” She pointed to the pile of bonds on the desk.
“Charmaine,” he started to say, prepared to let her down easy.
“Don’t decide now. Think about it.”
He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. He couldn’t let her get her hopes up. “It’s not going to happen, Charmaine.”
“It’s a good idea,” she argued.
“It’s a dumb idea.”
Her nostrils flared and she practically breathed fire. “Dumb? Why? Because it came from me?”
“Yeah. Maybe. You don’t know anything about running a ranch, whether it’s cattle or sheep or freakin’ dude cowgirls.” He tried to calm himself down, to refrain from saying the things he would have said to a man standing before him.
“Oh, yeah! Well, I know a hell of a lot more than you do about running a business. And don’t you dare bring up the loan shark. That was a blip on my success radar. I have built and expanded two businesses from scratch. And they’re successful, you thickheaded idiot.”
“They’re beauty parlors, Charmaine. There’s a big difference between teasing hair and castrating a cow.”
He stood.
She stood, too.
Nose to nose now, she seethed at him. “They are both businesses. And if there’s one thing I know in this world, it’s how to run a business.”
He pulled at his own hair and yelled, “They’re not the same!”
“You know what? You don’t respect my talents at all, do you? You think a woman like me couldn’t have a bleepin’ intelligent idea in her empty head if she tried. You think I was a bimbo, am a bimbo, and will always be a bimbo.”
“I never said that.”
“You didn’t have to,” she said on a sob. Then, pivoting on her heels, she stormed out of the office. They probably heard the door slam all the way to Lafayette.
Raoul sank down to the chair with a long sigh. I came in here thinking I might get lucky and nab a little swivel chair sex. What just happened?
You-know-who had the answer, of course. You ever seen that movie Dumb and Dumber? Yoo-hoo, Academy Awards! I have a nomination for Dumbest.