‘”Morning,” he said cheerily as he poured himself a cup of thick black coffee.
“Good mornin’, sunshine,” she replied, turning toward him. She wore red lipstick today, which, backdropped by her white skin, resembled blood. So, of course, smart fellow that he was, he said, “You lookin’ mighty fine today, Miz Rivard.”
“Hush yo’ mouth, boy.” She preened with pleasure at his compliment. “You wants some couche-couche for a start, yes?”
He nodded and she ladled out some of the fried corn-meal topped with a dollop of butter and sweet cane syrup. He took it to the table, wondering, Why does she go in for these outlandish outfits? But he immediately chastised himself. What do I care? She’s a nice old lady who’s being nice to me, and her adopted niece was especially nice to me last night, and…
“Glad to see yer smilin’ today, sonny boy,” Tante Lulu said, sitting down at the table next to him with her own cup of cafe au lait. “Me, I was wonderin’… what’s yer opinion ’bout a Xmas weddin’?”
“For who?”
“You.”
He choked on his coffee as it went down the wrong pipe. “I’m already married.”
She waved a hand airily as if that didn’t matter a bit “Thass what Charmaine said.”
“You talked about this with Charmaine?”
“I sure-God did. I tol’ her and I’m tellin’ you… you gots to renew yer vows if this marriage gots a chance.”
“Where did this idea come from? Is it because I was with Charmaine last night?”
Her entire face lit up with pleasure, which was a sight to see with the red curls bobbing, her white vampirelike skin, and the crimson lips. “You was with Charmaine las’ night? Glory be! I’m gonna light a candle next time I go to church to thank St. Jude.”
“I wasn’t with her like that.” Not exactly.
“Does she still have her doo-hickey?” She narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously.
How do I answer that question? No, she doesn’t have her original doo-hickey. Yes, she has her born-again doohickey.
“It doan make no nevermind. The point is, iffen you love her, you will want to do this.”
What about her loving me ? Don’t you think that would be a major consideration?
“Besides, I ain’t never had a Christmas weddin’ in our fam’ly, and I already gots ideas fer decoratin’ yer living room fer the reception. Unless you wants to do it all at Our Lady of the Bayou Church, but thass a ways from here.”
“Hold your horses, lady. There is not going to be a wedding that I know of, and certainly not one so soon as Christmas, and I really don’t want you planning anything on your own, and—”
As if he hadn’t said a word, she continued, “Father Girard, the new priest at Our Lady of the Bayou, is an old boyfriend of Charmaine’s. Betcha he’d love to be the minister.”
Isn’t everyone an old boyfriend of Charmaine’s? And I just bet he’d love to minister to her. And who the hell cares? I am not going to let anyone rain on my parade today.
Which Charmaine, of course, proceeded to do by strolling into the kitchen wearing white athletic shoes, latex running pants that showed every inch of her body from waist to ankles, including the goose bumps on her ass, and a long-sleeved, white, form-hugging shirt proclaiming don’t tangle with me. Her hair was big and wild. Her face was fully made-up, complete with red lipstick, just like Tante Lulu, except totally different.
She looks wonderful. Good enough to eat. Oops, I already did that. All this he thought with a smile on his face. At first.
It wasn’t her appearance that rained on his parade. Hey, if he had his way, he’d like nothing better than to jog on back to her bedroom with her and show her just what kind of exercise he could give those running pants. No, it was what she eventually said that caused a dark cloud to come over him.
“Hey, Rusty,” she drawled out, slow and sexy, looking back at him over her shoulder as she poured herself a cup of coffee. As only a born-to-tease seductress could do, Charmaine let him fill his eyes with her backside, which filled the stretch pants so nicely. In fact, she dropped a spoon—deliberately, he was sure—and took a nice long time bending over to pick it up.