inclined to yawning and sleep. I lay down on the couch in the
great cabin to sleep, and slept about three hours, and awaked a
little refreshed, having taken a glass of wine when I lay down;
after being about three hours awake, it being about five o’clock in
the morning, I found myself empty, and my stomach sickish, and lay
down again, but could not sleep at all, being very faint and ill;
and thus I continued all the second day with a strange variety –
first hungry, then sick again, with retchings to vomit. The second
night, being obliged to go to bed again without any food more than
a draught of fresh water, and being asleep, I dreamed I was at
Barbadoes, and that the market was mightily stocked with
provisions; that I bought some for my mistress, and went and dined
very heartily. I thought my stomach was full after this, as it
would have been after a good dinner; but when I awaked I was
exceedingly sunk in my spirits to find myself in the extremity of
family. The last glass of wine we had I drank, and put sugar in
it, because of its having some spirit to supply nourishment; but
there being no substance in the stomach for the digesting office to
work upon, I found the only effect of the wine was to raise
disagreeable fumes from the stomach into the head; and I lay, as
they told me, stupid and senseless, as one drunk, for some time.
The third day, in the morning, after a night of strange, confused,
and inconsistent dreams, and rather dozing than sleeping, I awaked
ravenous and furious with hunger; and I question, had not my
understanding returned and conquered it, whether if I had been a
mother, and had had a little child with me, its life would have
been safe or not. This lasted about three hours, during which time
I was twice raging mad as any creature in Bedlam, as my young
master told me, and as he can now inform you.
“In one of these fits of lunacy or distraction I fell down and
struck my face against the corner of a pallet-bed, in which my
mistress lay, and with the blow the blood gushed out of my nose;
and the cabin-boy bringing me a little basin, I sat down and bled
into it a great deal; and as the blood came from me I came to
myself, and the violence of the flame or fever I was in abated, and
so did the ravenous part of the hunger. Then I grew sick, and
retched to vomit, but could not, for I had nothing in my stomach to
bring up. After I had bled some time I swooned, and they all
believed I was dead; but I came to myself soon after, and then had
a most dreadful pain in my stomach not to be described – not like
the colic, but a gnawing, eager pain for food; and towards night it
went off with a kind of earnest wishing or longing for food. I
took another draught of water with sugar in it; but my stomach
loathed the sugar and brought it all up again; then I took a
draught of water without sugar, and that stayed with me; and I laid
me down upon the bed, praying most heartily that it would please
God to take me away; and composing my mind in hopes of it, I
slumbered a while, and then waking, thought myself dying, being
light with vapours from an empty stomach. I recommended my soul
then to God, and then earnestly wished that somebody would throw me
into the into the sea.
“All this while my mistress lay by me, just, as I thought,
expiring, but she bore it with much more patience than I, and gave
the last bit of bread she had left to her child, my young master,
who would not have taken it, but she obliged him to eat it; and I
believe it saved his life. Towards the morning I slept again, and
when I awoke I fell into a violent passion of crying, and after