there myself, I had at least acted like a man of common sense. But
I was possessed of a wandering spirit, and scorned all advantages:
I pleased myself with being the patron of the people I placed
there, and doing for them in a kind of haughty, majestic way, like
an old patriarchal monarch, providing for them as if I had been
father of the whole family, as well as of the plantation. But I
never so much as pretended to plant in the name of any government
or nation, or to acknowledge any prince, or to call my people
subjects to any one nation more than another; nay, I never so much
as gave the place a name, but left it as I found it, belonging to
nobody, and the people under no discipline or government but my
own, who, though I had influence over them as a father and
benefactor, had no authority or power to act or command one way or
other, further than voluntary consent moved them to comply. Yet
even this, had I stayed there, would have done well enough; but as
I rambled from them, and came there no more, the last letters I had
from any of them were by my partner’s means, who afterwards sent
another sloop to the place, and who sent me word, though I had not
the letter till I got to London, several years after it was
written, that they went on but poorly; were discontented with their
long stay there; that Will Atkins was dead; that five of the
Spaniards were come away; and though they had not been much
molested by the savages, yet they had had some skirmishes with
them; and that they begged of him to write to me to think of the
promise I had made to fetch them away, that they might see their
country again before they died.
But I was gone a wildgoose chase indeed, and they that will have
any more of me must be content to follow me into a new variety of
follies, hardships, and wild adventures, wherein the justice of
Providence may be duly observed; and we may see how easily Heaven
can gorge us with our own desires, make the strongest of our wishes
be our affliction, and punish us most severely with those very
things which we think it would be our utmost happiness to be
allowed to possess. Whether I had business or no business, away I
went: it is no time now to enlarge upon the reason or absurdity of
my own conduct, but to come to the history – I was embarked for the
voyage, and the voyage I went.
I shall only add a word or two concerning my honest Popish
clergyman, for let their opinion of us, and all other heretics in
general, as they call us, be as uncharitable as it may, I verily
believe this man was very sincere, and wished the good of all men:
yet I believe he used reserve in many of his expressions, to
prevent giving me offence; for I scarce heard him once call on the
Blessed Virgin, or mention St. Jago, or his guardian angel, though
so common with the rest of them. However, I say I had not the
least doubt of his sincerity and pious intentions; and I am firmly
of opinion, if the rest of the Popish missionaries were like him,
they would strive to visit even the poor Tartars and Laplanders,
where they have nothing to give them, as well as covet to flock to
India, Persia, China, &c., the most wealthy of the heathen
countries; for if they expected to bring no gains to their Church
by it, it may well be admired how they came to admit the Chinese
Confucius into the calendar of the Christian saints.
A ship being ready to sail for Lisbon, my pious priest asked me
leave to go thither; being still, as he observed, bound never to
finish any voyage he began. How happy it had been for me if I had
gone with him. But it was too late now; all things Heaven appoints
for the best: had I gone with him I had never had so many things