The Prince and the Pauper by Mark Twain

condition to get out of bed. The proper official poured water,

the proper official engineered the washing, the proper official

stood by with a towel, and by-and-by Tom got safely through the

purifying stage and was ready for the services of the Hairdresser-

royal. When he at length emerged from this master’s hands, he was

a gracious figure and as pretty as a girl, in his mantle and

trunks of purple satin, and purple-plumed cap. He now moved in

state toward his breakfast-room, through the midst of the courtly

assemblage; and as he passed, these fell back, leaving his way

free, and dropped upon their knees.

After breakfast he was conducted, with regal ceremony, attended by

his great officers and his guard of fifty Gentlemen Pensioners

bearing gilt battle-axes, to the throne-room, where he proceeded

to transact business of state. His ‘uncle,’ Lord Hertford, took

his stand by the throne, to assist the royal mind with wise

counsel.

The body of illustrious men named by the late King as his

executors appeared, to ask Tom’s approval of certain acts of

theirs–rather a form, and yet not wholly a form, since there was

no Protector as yet. The Archbishop of Canterbury made report of

the decree of the Council of Executors concerning the obsequies of

his late most illustrious Majesty, and finished by reading the

signatures of the Executors, to wit: the Archbishop of

Canterbury; the Lord Chancellor of England; William Lord St. John;

John Lord Russell; Edward Earl of Hertford; John Viscount Lisle;

Cuthbert Bishop of Durham–

Tom was not listening–an earlier clause of the document was

puzzling him. At this point he turned and whispered to Lord

Hertford–

“What day did he say the burial hath been appointed for?”

“The sixteenth of the coming month, my liege.”

“‘Tis a strange folly. Will he keep?”

Poor chap, he was still new to the customs of royalty; he was used

to seeing the forlorn dead of Offal Court hustled out of the way

with a very different sort of expedition. However, the Lord

Hertford set his mind at rest with a word or two.

A secretary of state presented an order of the Council appointing

the morrow at eleven for the reception of the foreign ambassadors,

and desired the King’s assent.

Tom turned an inquiring look toward Hertford, who whispered–

“Your Majesty will signify consent. They come to testify their

royal masters’ sense of the heavy calamity which hath visited your

Grace and the realm of England.”

Tom did as he was bidden. Another secretary began to read a

preamble concerning the expenses of the late King’s household,

which had amounted to 28,000 pounds during the preceding six

months–a sum so vast that it made Tom Canty gasp; he gasped again

when the fact appeared that 20,000 pounds of this money was still

owing and unpaid; {4} and once more when it appeared that the

King’s coffers were about empty, and his twelve hundred servants

much embarrassed for lack of the wages due them. Tom spoke out,

with lively apprehension–

“We be going to the dogs, ’tis plain. ‘Tis meet and necessary

that we take a smaller house and set the servants at large, sith

they be of no value but to make delay, and trouble one with

offices that harass the spirit and shame the soul, they

misbecoming any but a doll, that hath nor brains nor hands to help

itself withal. I remember me of a small house that standeth over

against the fish-market, by Billingsgate–”

A sharp pressure upon Tom’s arm stopped his foolish tongue and

sent a blush to his face; but no countenance there betrayed any

sign that this strange speech had been remarked or given concern.

A secretary made report that forasmuch as the late King had

provided in his will for conferring the ducal degree upon the Earl

of Hertford and raising his brother, Sir Thomas Seymour, to the

peerage, and likewise Hertford’s son to an earldom, together with

similar aggrandisements to other great servants of the Crown, the

Council had resolved to hold a sitting on the 16th of February for

the delivering and confirming of these honours, and that meantime,

the late King not having granted, in writing, estates suitable to

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