The Prince and the Pauper by Mark Twain

the support of these dignities, the Council, knowing his private

wishes in that regard, had thought proper to grant to Seymour ‘500

pound lands,’ and to Hertford’s son ‘800 pound lands, and 300

pound of the next bishop’s lands which should fall vacant,’–his

present Majesty being willing. {5}

Tom was about to blurt out something about the propriety of paying

the late King’s debts first, before squandering all this money,

but a timely touch upon his arm, from the thoughtful Hertford,

saved him this indiscretion; wherefore he gave the royal assent,

without spoken comment, but with much inward discomfort. While he

sat reflecting a moment over the ease with which he was doing

strange and glittering miracles, a happy thought shot into his

mind: why not make his mother Duchess of Offal Court, and give

her an estate? But a sorrowful thought swept it instantly away:

he was only a king in name, these grave veterans and great nobles

were his masters; to them his mother was only the creature of a

diseased mind; they would simply listen to his project with

unbelieving ears, then send for the doctor.

The dull work went tediously on. Petitions were read, and

proclamations, patents, and all manner of wordy, repetitious, and

wearisome papers relating to the public business; and at last Tom

sighed pathetically and murmured to himself, “In what have I

offended, that the good God should take me away from the fields

and the free air and the sunshine, to shut me up here and make me

a king and afflict me so?” Then his poor muddled head nodded a

while and presently drooped to his shoulder; and the business of

the empire came to a standstill for want of that august factor,

the ratifying power. Silence ensued around the slumbering child,

and the sages of the realm ceased from their deliberations.

During the forenoon, Tom had an enjoyable hour, by permission of

his keepers, Hertford and St. John, with the Lady Elizabeth and

the little Lady Jane Grey; though the spirits of the princesses

were rather subdued by the mighty stroke that had fallen upon the

royal house; and at the end of the visit his ‘elder sister’–

afterwards the ‘Bloody Mary’ of history–chilled him with a solemn

interview which had but one merit in his eyes, its brevity. He

had a few moments to himself, and then a slim lad of about twelve

years of age was admitted to his presence, whose clothing, except

his snowy ruff and the laces about his wrists, was of black,–

doublet, hose, and all. He bore no badge of mourning but a knot

of purple ribbon on his shoulder. He advanced hesitatingly, with

head bowed and bare, and dropped upon one knee in front of Tom.

Tom sat still and contemplated him soberly a moment. Then he

said–

“Rise, lad. Who art thou. What wouldst have?”

The boy rose, and stood at graceful ease, but with an aspect of

concern in his face. He said–

“Of a surety thou must remember me, my lord. I am thy whipping-

boy.”

“My WHIPPING-boy?”

“The same, your Grace. I am Humphrey–Humphrey Marlow.”

Tom perceived that here was someone whom his keepers ought to have

posted him about. The situation was delicate. What should he

do?–pretend he knew this lad, and then betray by his every

utterance that he had never heard of him before? No, that would

not do. An idea came to his relief: accidents like this might be

likely to happen with some frequency, now that business urgencies

would often call Hertford and St. John from his side, they being

members of the Council of Executors; therefore perhaps it would be

well to strike out a plan himself to meet the requirements of such

emergencies. Yes, that would be a wise course–he would practise

on this boy, and see what sort of success he might achieve. So he

stroked his brow perplexedly a moment or two, and presently said–

“Now I seem to remember thee somewhat–but my wit is clogged and

dim with suffering–”

“Alack, my poor master!” ejaculated the whipping-boy, with

feeling; adding, to himself, “In truth ’tis as they said–his mind

is gone–alas, poor soul! But misfortune catch me, how am I

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