The Stainless Steel Rat Sings the Blues by Harry Harrison

They shuffled out wearily with dragging feet. The Admiral stamped in as they left, with Zach trailing in his wake.

“This agent informs me that all preparations have been made and you are ready to embark.” I could only nod agreement.

“Wish I could go with you,” Zach said.

“You set it all up-you have our thanks for that. Now get going.”

He numbed my fingers with his handshake and the door closed behind him.

The Admiral’s smile had all of the warmth of a striking snake. “Drug Enforcement has come up with a crime so awful that it means an instant sentence to Liokukae.”

“That’s nice-what is it?”

“Misuse of a highly refined and expensive drug called baksheesh. You and the rest of the musicians have been caught smuggling it and are addicted to it. There is a medical cure for the addiction that leaves the victim weak and vibrating for a number of days. This should give you a little time to look around before you have to play your first concert. The press release has already gone out about your capture and your sentence to prison hospital for the criminally doped. The natives of Liokukae will not be surprised at all when you arrive there. Questions?”

“A big one. Has the communication been set up?”

“Yes. The coded radio built into your jaw can reach the receiver at the entrance terminal from any place on the planet. It will be manned all of the time and an officer will be listening in on all communication. Your contact on the ground will give you what aid he can before you go out of the sealed terminal. Then he will move to the spacecruiser Remorseless in orbit above, which will also monitor your radio. We can hit anywhere on the planet in a maximum of eleven minutes. Send the signal when you have found the artifact and the space marines will be there. Report at a minimum of once a day. Location and results of your investigation.”

“Just in case we get blown away and you have to send in the second team?”

“Exactly. More questions?”

“One. Going to wish us luck?”

“No. Don’t believe in it. Make your own.”

“Gee, thanks, you really are all heart.”

He turned and stamped away and the door swung shut behind him. Fatigue washed through me and black depression hit just one more time. Why was I doing this?

To stay alive of course. Twenty-two days more before my curtain fell for the final performance.

CHAPTER 6

The Faster Than Light voyage aboard the good ship Remorseless was blessedly brief. Being surrounded by the military has always had a deleterious effect on my morale. We had a solid day of rehearsal, some bad food, a good night’s rest, followed the next day by a very non-alcoholic party-since the Navy was remorselessly teetotal. Then, a few hours before we were to meet the shuttle, the medics gave us the injections that were to simulate the aftereffects of our drug treatment.

I think I would have preferred the treatment. I didn’t mind seeing my last meal go by for a second time; it had been pretty bad and I would not miss it. But the shakes and shivers were something else again. And all of my vibrating and stumbling co-musicians had eyeballs as red as fire. I dared not look in the mirror for fear of what I would see there.

Steengo was gray and drawn and looked a hundred years old. I felt a quick blast of guilt for dragging him out of retirement. Said guilt fading instantly when I thought about my own problems.

“Do I look as bad as you do?” Floyd said in a hoarse voice, his new-grown beard black against his parchment skin.

“I hope not,” I husked in return. Madonette reached over and patted my shaking hand in what might have been a maternal way.

“It will be all right on the night, Jim. Just you wait and see.

I did not feel filial in return since I was rapidly developing a crush on her that I hoped I disguised. I growled something or other and stumbled away to the heads where I could be alone with my misery. Even this did not work for the speaker in the ceiling rustled ominously-then crashed out Admiral Bonbon’s voice. .

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