The Stainless Steel Rat Sings the Blues by Harry Harrison

“Wonderful, isn’t it?” He gestured at the opening. “I have had my men digging that thing for months now. Stamping the removed dirt into the mud whenever it rains. I had planned a meeting here, some gifts, all very vague. Until you showed up! If I were capable of gratitude I would be grateful. I am not. The blind workings of chance. And victory to those-meaning me-who have the intelligence to seize the opportunity. Now a small celebration. We will have food and drink and you will play for me.”

He turned and issued instructions, kicked one of his new slaves when she stumbled close.

“It would be nice to kill him,” Madonette said. Speaking for all of us, if the nodding heads meant anything.

“Caution,” I cautioned. “He has all the cards and the thugs right now. Let’s play the concert and figure out how we can get out of here after that.”

It wasn’t going to be easy. Svinjar’s oversized log cabin was filled with his men. Drinking but not drunk, boasting of their feats, drinking even more. We played a number but no one was listening.

Yes; Svinjar was. Listening and looking. Waddling towards us, silencing the music with a swipe of his hand. Dropping into his chair and fingering the hilt of his large sword embedded in the stone close by his hand. Smiling that humorless smile at me again.

“Life is a bit different here, isn’t it Jim?”

“You might say that.”

If he was looking for trouble I wasn’t going to supply it. I didn’t like the odds at all.

“We make our own life-and our own rules here. Out there in the androgynous, settled worlds of the galaxy, the effete intellectuals rule. Men who act like women. Here we hearken back to the days of the primitive, virile, important men. Strength through strength. I like that. And I make the rules here.” He looked at Madonette in a singularly repulsive manner.

“A fine singer-and a lovely woman,” he said, then looked at me. “Your wife you say? Can anything be done about that? Let me think-yes-something can be done. Out there, in those so-called civilized planets nothing could be done. Here it can. For I am Svinjar – and Svinjar can always do something.”

He lifted one gross hand and tapped me on the forehead. “By my law and my custom I now divorce you.” He heaved himself to his feet while his henchmen roared with laughter at his subtle humor.

“That is not possible. It can’t be done-”

For his size he was fast, whipping out the broadsword from the niche in his throne.

“Here is my first lesson for my new bride. Nobody says no to Svinjar.”

The blade slashed out to slit my throat.

CHAPTER 9

I jumped back to avoid the slash, stumbled over a man’s legs, fell on top of him.

“Hold him!” Svinjar shouted and I was grabbed tightly, struggled to get free, couldn’t quite make it.

Svinjar was standing over me, pushing the point of the sword into my throat

Then he toppled sideways and fell with a great thud. Revealing the fact that Steengo, despite age and overweight, had jumped to the attack and was behind him, had dropped him with a chop to the neck.

What was happening had by this time sunk into even the tiniest of the birdbrains present. Men struggled to draw weapons and roared crude oaths. I saw Floyd laying about the warriors nearest him-but it wouldn’t be enough. In about two seconds there was going to be a massacre of musicians if I didn’t do something to stop it.

I did. First by planting my elbow in the solar plexus of my captor. Who gurgled and let go of my arms. One second gone. I didn’t waste any time trying to stand up but writhed on my side and pulled the black sphere from my pocket, thumbed the actuator and threw it up towards the ceiling.

Two seconds. Weapons swinging on all sides. My best defense was to jam the filter plugs into my nostrils. The gas bomb popped and I spent a busy few seconds more dodging my attackers. Who moved more and more slowly until they dropped. When I looked around I saw that the gas had done a great job. The entire great room was filled with prone and snoring forms. I shook my hands over my head.

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