The Stainless Steel Rat Sings the Blues by Harry Harrison

“You are not me and I am worried and answer the question or I will kill you slowly first chance I have. Speaking of killing . . .” I found that I couldn’t go on.

“I meant it when I said don’t worry. The threat of the thirty-day poison is over.”

“You have the antidote?”

“No. But the thirty days are past. Two days ago!”

“Past!! Then I’m dead!”

But I wasn’t dead. My brain spluttered and clanked and slipped back into gear. Thirty days past. No antidote. I was alive. I could hear my teeth grating as I spoke.

“Then the thirty-day poison-the whole thing was a fake from the start, wasn’t it?”

“I am afraid that it was, and I do apologize. But you must realize that I did not know about it until now. Only one person had that information, the instigator of the operation.”

“Admiral Benbow!”

“I’m afraid that information is not mine to reveal.”

“You don’t have to-it reveals itself. That lawyer who gave me the drink was just doing as directed. Lawyers will do anything if you pay them enough. Benbow was in charge and Benbow invented the poison plot to keep me in line.”

“Perhaps, Jim, perhaps.” His voice, even when transmitted through the agency of a plastic dog, reeked of insincerity and equivocation. “But there is nothing we can do about it now. A thing of the past. Best forgotten. Correct?”

I nodded and thought-then smiled. “Correct, Admiral. Why don’t we just forget about the whole thing. All’s well that ends well and tomorrow is another day. Forget it.”

For now, I thought to myself, but did not speak that important little codicil aloud.

“I’m glad you understand, Jim. No hard feelings then.”

I dropped the dog, turned and clapped Floyd happily on the shoulder, bent and picked up the replacement artifact.

“We did it, Floyd, we did it. I will explain everything as we walk. In great detail. But as you can see we are free, in possession of this artifact. Mission accomplished. Now-lead on, faithful Fido, since you have memorized the entrance-and-exit path. But go slowly, for it really has been one of those days.”

I was hungry and thirsty. But even more thirsty for-what? Revenge? No, revenge was a dead end. If not vengeance-what then?

The time had come for a little evening up, a little sorting out of the record. I had been taken in completely by the poisonous con job. So before the last i was dotted, before the last alien artifact laid to rest, I was going to see that a little justice got done.

On my terms.

CHAPTER 27

“Carry this for a bit, will you Floyd,” I said, passing over the replacement temporooter. We were leaving the last lit tunnel behind and would depend now on Aida to remember the way. “I’m a little on the tired side.”

“I don’t wonder. But you have to understand-my patience has just run out. So work hard and see if you can dig up enough energy to tell me just what happened. I am now completely confused. I remember that I wasted the Killerbot with that gun you now have tucked into your belt, the one Fido brought to me. Then I jumped through the door and told you to get down so I could blast the Commander as well as anyone else who was looking for trouble.”

“That’s just the way I remember it.”

Fido barked and turned a corner from one dark tunnel into another even darker one. Floyd sounded worried.

“I remember pulling the trigger-then suddenly you are holding the gun, not me, and right next to me there are two creatures, people, robots, something like that. I blink and look into the lab and everyone is standing like they are frozen. Nothing moves-but nothing. Then when I look back I see that the two metal things have vanished. So I am beginning to feel like I am going around the mental bend. Therefore I would appreciate it if you would kindly, and quickly, tell me what happened.”

“I wish I knew. I saw the same things you did. I don’t know what happened.”

“But you must know-you were talking to them!”

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