The Stainless Steel Rat Sings the Blues by Harry Harrison

“I’ll apologize when you tell me about this complication.”

“Apology accepted. Allowing for the curvature of the planet, gravitic anomalies and other factors, I am still forced to believe that the tachyon source is not on the surface of this world.”

“The thing is underground?”

“Underground is the very word for it.”

I bit hard on the jawphone. “Tremearne, would you put the admiral on the line.”

“I’m here, Jim. Aida reported this possibility a while back and 1 have been . monitoring developments since then. Didn’t want to bother you, for all the obvious reasons.”

“Yes, like we forgot to bring a shovel. Anything else you haven’t told me?”

“I was waiting for data, Just coming in. I sent a low flying probe to look for the gravimetric anomalies that Aida had found. Looks like there are a number of them and they are being plotted now.”

“What kind of anomalies? Metal deposits?”

“Quite the opposite. Caverns below the ground.”

“It figures. Over and out. At least we now know where the artifact is.”

“Where?” Floyd asked, since he had only heard my side of the conversation.

“Underground. There are caves or caverns of some kind up ahead. Nothing visible on the surface-but they are there all right. Our technical observers seem sure that the artifact is down there somewhere. Can we take that break now and wait for the reports?”

“I guess so.”

Floyd guessed right, which was a good thing since an instant after we dropped to the ground the stream of bullets was fired at us. Zipping through the empty air where we had just been standing.

Floyd had a large and ugly pistol in his hand now which didn’t slow him down as he wriggled on hands and knees beside me to the shelter of the mounded earth around a polpettone tree.

“We’re under fire!” I shouted into my jawphone.

“Source not visible.”

Fido stood on its hind legs-then jumped high into the air despite another burst of bullets.

“Bow-wow. Perhaps not visible to others but clear enough to me.”

“What is it?”

“Some sort of apparatus at ground level. Want me to take it out?”

“If you can.”

“Grrr!” it growled and retracted its legs, then zipped off at a great rate at ground level, so fast it could barely be seen. Moments later there was a muffled explosion and bits of debris rattled dorm into the shrub.

“‘That was quick,” I said.

“Thank you,” Fido said emerging from the undergrowth with a jagged bit of metal in its jaws. “Just follow me if you want to see the remains.”

We followed the thing to a smoking pit with a jumble of crumpled apparatus in its center. Fido dropped its bit of debris, lifted one front leg. Extended its head, straightened its tail and pointed.

“Remote controlled gun turret. Note that the top of it is camouflaged, concealed by dirt and sprouting plants. Hydraulically operated-that’s red oil not blood-to lift the apparatus above ground level. Remains of an optical finder there. Note the four automatic guns, Rapellit-binetti X-nineteens. Rate of fire twelve hundred rounds a minute. Eighty rounds a second, explosive and armor piercing.”

“Since when have you been an armament authority, Aida?” I asked.

“Since a long time back, -sweetie-pie. In my heyday I was required to know this sort of thing. I also know that these particular guns have not been manufactured for over five hundred years.”

CHAPTER 23

I took another sip of water, wished that it was a stronger liquid. Was glad that it wasn’t since a clear head was an important asset at this time.

“How old did you say these guns are?” I asked. There was no answer because our fake dog was digging away like a real dog throwing dirt behind it at a great rate. Burrowing down under the gun turret.

“Five hundred years old,” Floyd said. “How can that be? Why use something that old?”

“You use it if that is all that you have. There is a mystery here that we are about to solve. Remember the ancient explosive that blew up the lab? It was also antique. So consider this. What if this planet had been settled before they started dumping societal debris on it? What if there were settlers here-only they were hidden away underground? It’s a possibility. And if it is true, then it has been five centuries since they arrived. That’s how long these mysterious migrants have been hiding away up here. Or down here, really. They must have been settled well before the League ever found this planet. That’s why there is no record of them.”

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