of news I don’t want to know about before it happens. Your coast-to-coast
correspondent will not be a client of Prophet Pinero—”
The judge’s watery baritone cut through the stale air of the courtroom.
“Please, Mr. Weems, let us return to our subject. This court granted your
prayer for a temporary restraining order, and now you ask that it be made
permanent. In rebuttal, Dr. Pinero claims that you have presented no cause
and asks that the injunction be lifted, and that I order your client to
cease from attempts to interfere with what Pinero describes as a simple,
lawful business. As you are not addressing a jury, please omit the rhetoric
and tell me in plain language why I should not grant his prayer.”
Mr. Weems jerked his chin nervously, making his flabby gray dewlap drag
across his high stiff collar, and resumed:
“May it please the honorable court, I represent the public—”
“Just a moment. I thought you were appearing for Amalgamated Life
Insurance.”
“I am, your honor, in a formal sense. In a wider sense I represent several
other of the major assurance, fiduciary and financial institutions, their
stockholders and policy holders, who constitute a majority of the
citizenry. In addition we feel that we protect the interests of the entire
population, unorganized, inarticulate and otherwise unprotected.”
“I thought that I represented the public,” observed the judge dryly. “I am
afraid I must regard you as appearing for your client of record. But
continue. What is your thesis?”
The elderly barrister attempted to swallow his Adam’s apple, then began
again: “Your honor, we contend that there are two separate reasons why this
injunction should be made permanent, and, further, that each reason is
sufficient alone.
“In the first place, this person is engaged in the practice of soothsaying,
an occupation proscribed both in common law and statute. He is a common
fortune-teller, a vagabond charlatan who preys on the gullibility of the
public. He is cleverer than the ordinary gypsy palm reader, astrologer or
table tipper, and to the same extent more dangerous. He makes false claims
of modern scientific methods to give a spurious dignity of the thaumaturgy.
We have here in court leading representatives of the Academy of Science to
give expert witness as to the absurdity of his claims.
“In the second place, even if this person’s claims were true—granting for
the sake of argument such an absurdity—” Mr. Weems permitted himself a
thin-lipped smile—”we contend that his activities are contrary to the
public interest in general, and unlawfully injurious to the interests of my
client in particular. We are prepared to produce numerous exhibits with the
legal custodians to prove that this person did publish, or cause to have
published, utterances urging the public to dispense with the priceless boon
of life insurance to the great detriment of their welfare and to the
financial damage of my client.”
Pinero arose in his place. “Your honor, may I say a few words?”
“What is it?”
“I believe I can simplify the situation if permitted to make a brief
analysis.
“Your honor,” put in Weems, “this is most irregular.”
“Patience, Mr. Weems. Your interests will be protected. It seems to me that
we need more light and less noise in this matter. If Dr. Pinero can shorten
the proceedings by speaking at this time, I am inclined to let him.
Proceed, Dr. Pinero.”
“Thank you, your honor. Taking the last of Mr. Weems’ point first, I am
prepared to stipulate that I published the utterances he speaks of—”
“One moment, doctor. You have chosen to act as your own attorney. Are you
sure you are competent to protect your own interests?”
“I am prepared to chance it, your honor. Our friends here can easily prove
what I stipulate.”
“Very well. You may proceed.”
“I will stipulate that many persons have canceled life insurance policies
as a result there of, but I challenge them to show that anyone so doing has
suffered any loss or damage there from. It is true that the Amalgamated has
lost business through my activities, but that is the natural result of my
discovery, which has made their policies as obsolete as the bow and arrow.