If an injunction is granted on that ground, I shall set up a coal-oil-lamp
factory, and then ask for an injunction against the Edison and General
Electric companies to forbid them to manufacture incandescent bulbs.
“I will stipulate that I am engaged in the business of making predictions
of death, but I deny that I am practicing magic, black, white or
rainbow-colored. If to make predictions by methods of scientific accuracy
is illegal, then the actuaries of the Amalgamated have been guilty for
years, in that they predict the exact percentage that will die each year in
any given large group. I predict death retail; the Amalgamated predicts it
wholesale. If their actions are legal, how can mine be illegal?
“I admit that it makes a difference whether I can do what I claim, or not;
and I will stipulate that the so-called expert witnesses from the Academy
of Science will testify that I cannot. But they know nothing of my method
and cannot give truly expert testimony on it—”
“Just a moment, doctor. Mr. Weems, is it true that your expert witnesses
are not conversant with Dr. Pinero’s theory and methods?”
Mr. Weems looked worried. He drummed on the table top, then answered. “Will
the court grant me a few moments’ indulgence?”
“Certainly.”
Mr. Weems held a hurried whispered consultation with his cohorts, then
faced the bench. “We have a procedure to suggest, your honor. If Dr. Pinero
will take the stand and explain the theory and practice of his alleged
method, then these distinguished scientists will be able to advise the
court as to the validity of his claims.”
The judge looked inquiringly at Pinero, who responded: “I will not
willingly agree to that. Whether my process is true or false, it would be
dangerous to let it fall into the hands of fools and quacks—” he waved his
hand at the group of professors seated in the front row, paused and smiled
maliciously—”as these gentlemen know quite well. Furthermore, it is not
necessary to know the process in order to prove that it will work. Is it
necessary for me to re-educate this entire body of self-appointed
custodians of wisdom—cure them of their ingrown superstitions—in order to
prove that my predictions are correct?
“There are but two ways of forming an opinion in science. One is the
scientific method; the other, the scholastic. One can judge from
experiment, or one can blindly accept authority. To the scientific mind,
experimental proof is all—important, and theory is merely a convenience in
description, to be junked when it no longer fits. To the academic mind,
authority is everything, and facts are junked when they do not fit theory
laid down by authority.
“It is this point of view—academic minds clinging like oysters to disprove
theories—that has blocked every advance of knowledge in history. I am
prepared to prove my method by experiment, and, like Galileo in another
court, I insist, “It still moves!”
“Once before I offered such proof to this Some body of self-styled experts,
and they rejected it. I renew my offer; let me measure the life length of
the members of the Academy of Science. Let them appoint a committee to
judge the results. I will seal my findings in two sets of envelopes; on the
outside of each envelope in one set will appear the name of a member; on
the inside, the date of his death. In the other envelopes I will place
names; on the outside I will place dates. Let the committee place the
envelopes in a vault, then meet from time to time to open the appropriate
envelopes. In such a large body of men some deaths may be expected, if
Amalgamated actuaries can be trusted, every week or two. In such a fashion
they will accumulate data very rapidly to prove that Pinero is a liar, or
no.”
He stopped, and thrust out his chest until it almost caught up with his
little round belly. He glared at the sweating servants. “Well?”
The judge raised his eyebrows, and caught Mr. Weems’ eye. “Do you accept?”
“Your honor, I think the proposal highly improper—”
The judge cut him short. “I warn you that I shall rule against you if you