The king got his cargo aboard, and then, the talk not turning upon battle, conquest, or iron-clad duel, he dulled down to drowsiness and went off to take a nap. Mrs. Marco cleared the table, placed the beer keg handy, and went away to eat her dinner of leavings in humble privacy, and the rest of us soon drifted into matters near and dear to the hearts of our sort — mdash; business and wages, of course. At a first glance, things appeared to be exceeding prosperous in this little tributary kingdom — mdash; whose lord was King Bagdemagus — mdash; as compared with the state of things in my own region. They had the “protection” system in full force here, whereas we were working along down toward free-trade, by easy stages, and were now about half way. Before long, Dowley and I were doing all the talking, the others hungrily listening. Dowley warmed to his work, snuffed an advantage in the air, and began to put questions which he considered pretty awkward ones for me, and they did have something of that look:
“In your country, brother, what is the wage of a master bailiff, master hind, carter, shepherd, swineherd?”
“Twenty-five milrays a day; that is to say, a quarter of a cent.
The smith’s face beamed with joy. He said: [Image]
I am for protection!
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“With us they are allowed the double of it! And what may a mechanic get — mdash; carpenter, dauber, mason, painter, blacksmith, wheelwright, and the like?”
“On the average, fifty milrays; half a cent a day.”
“Ho-ho! With us they are allowed a hundred! With us any good mechanic is allowed a cent a day! I count out the tailor, but not the others — mdash; they are all allowed a cent a day, and in driving times they get more — mdash; yes, up to a hundred and ten and even fifteen milrays a day. I’ve paid a hundred and fifteen myself, within the week. ‘Rah for protection — mdash; to Sheol with free-trade!”
And his face shone upon the company like a sunburst. But I didn’t scare at all. I rigged up my pile-driver, and allowed myself fifteen minutes to drive him into the earth — mdash; drive him all in — mdash; drive him in till not even the curve of his skull should show above ground. Here is the way I started in on him. I asked:
“What do you pay a pound for salt?”
“A hundred milrays.”
“We pay forty. What do you pay for beef and mutton — mdash; when you buy it?” That was a neat hit; it made the color come.
“It varieth somewhat, but not much; one may say 75 milrays the pound.”
“We pay 33. What do you pay for eggs?”
“Fifty milrays the dozen.”
“We pay 20. What do you pay for beer?”
“It costeth us 8 1/2 milrays the pint.”
“We get it for 4; 25 bottles for a cent. What do you pay for wheat?”
“At the rate of 900 milrays the bushel.”
“We pay 400. What do you pay for a man’s tow-linen suit?”
“Thirteen cents.”
“We pay 6. What do you pay for a stuff gown for the wife of the laborer or the mechanic?”
“We pay 8.4.0.” ———————————————————————— Page 312
“Well, observe the difference: you pay eight cents and four mills, we pay only four cents.” I prepared now to sock it to him. l said: “Look here, dear friend, what’s become of your high wages you were bragging so about a few minutes ago?” — mdash; and I looked around on the company with placid satisfaction, for I had slipped up on him gradually and tied him hand and foot, you see, without his ever noticing that he was being tied at all. “What’s become of those noble high wages of yours? — mdash; I seem to have knocked the stuffing all out of them, it appears to me.”
But if you will believe me, he merely looked surprised, that is all! he didn’t grasp the situation at all, didn’t know he had walked into a trap, didn’t discover that he was in a trap. I could have shot him, from sheer vexation. With cloudy eye and a struggling intellect he fetched this out: