paper and a fountain pen and a box or so of safety matches. I was getting tired of doing without these conveniences. I could have them now, as I wasn’t going to wear armor any more at present, and therefore could get at my pockets.
When I got back to the monastery, I found a thing of interest going on. The abbot and his monks were assembled in the great hall, observing with childish wonder and faith the performances of a new magician, a fresh arrival. His dress was the extreme of the fantastic; as showy and foolish as the sort of thing an Indian medicine-man wears. He was mowing, and mumbling, and gesticulating, and drawing mystical figures in the air and on the floor, — mdash; the regular thing, you know. He was a celebrity from Asia — mdash; so he said, and that was enough. That sort of evidence was as good as gold, and passed current everywhere.
How easy and cheap it was to be a great magician on this fellow’s terms. His specialty was to tell you what any individual on the face of the globe was doing at the moment; and what he had done at any time in the past, and what he would do at any time in the future. He asked if any would like to know what the Emperor of the East was doing now? The sparkling eyes and the delighted rubbing of hands made eloquent answer — mdash; this reverend crowd would like to know what that monarch was at, just as this moment. The fraud went through some more mummery, and then made grave announcement:
“The high and mighty Emperor of the East doth at this moment put money in the palm of a holy begging friar — mdash; one, two, three pieces, and they be all of silver.” ———————————————————————— Page 218
A buzz of admiring exclamations broke out, all around:
“It is marvelous!” “Wonderful!” “What study, what labor, to have acquired a so amazing power as this!”
Would they like to know what the Supreme Lord of Inde was doing? Yes. He told them what the Supreme Lord of Inde was doing. Then he told them what the Sultan of Egypt was at; also what the King of the Remote Seas was about. And so on and so on; and with each new marvel the astonishment at his accuracy rose higher and higher. They thought he must surely strike an uncertain place some time; but no, he never had to hesitate, he always knew, and always with unerring precision. I saw that if this thing went on I should lose my supremacy, this fellow would capture my following, I should be left out in the cold. I must put a cog in his wheel, and do it right away, too. I said:
“If I might ask, I should very greatly like to know what a certain person is doing.”
“Speak, and freely. I will tell you.”
“It will be difficult — mdash; perhaps impossible.”
“My art knoweth not that word. The more difficult it is, the more certainly will I reveal it to you.”
You see, I was working up the interest. It was getting pretty high, too; you could see that by the craning necks all around, and the half-suspended breathing. So now I climaxed it:
“If you make no mistake — mdash; if you tell me truly what I want to know — mdash; I will give you two hundred silver pennies.” ———————————————————————— Page 219
“The fortune is mine! I will tell you what you would know.”
“Then tell me what I am doing with my right hand.”
“Ah-h!” There was a general gasp of surprise. It had not occurred to anybody in the crowd — mdash; that simple trick of inquiring about somebody who wasn’t ten thousand miles away. The magician was hit hard; it was an emergency that had never happened in his experience before, and it corked him; he didn’t know how to meet it. He looked stunned, confused; he couldn’t say a word. “Come,” I said, “what are you waiting for? Is it possible you can answer up, right off, and tell what anybody on the other side of the earth is doing, and yet can’t tell what a person is doing who isn’t three yards from you? Persons behind me know what I am doing with my right hand — mdash; they will indorse you if you tell correctly.” He was still dumb. “Very well, I’ll tell you why you don’t speak up and tell; it is because you don’t know. you a magician! Good friends, this tramp is a mere fraud and liar.”