Well, when the priest had been droning for three hours, and the good king polishing the evidences, and the sick were still pressing forward as plenty as ever, I got to feeling intolerably bored. I was sitting by an open window not far from the canopy of state. For the five hundredth time a patient stood forward to have his repulsivenesses stroked; again those words were being droned out: “they shall lay their hands on the sick” — mdash; when outside there rang clear as a clarion a note that enchanted my soul and tumbled thirteen worthless centuries about my ears: “Camelot Weekly Hosannah and Literary Volcano! — mdash; latest irruption — mdash; only two cents — mdash; all about the big miracle in the Valley of Holiness!” One greater than kings had arrived — mdash; the newsboy. But I was the only person in all that throng who knew the meaning of this mighty birth, and what this imperial magician was come into the world to do. ———————————————————————— Page 246
I dropped a nickel out of the window and got my paper; the Adam-newsboy of the world went around the corner to get my change; is around the corner yet. It was delicious to see a newspaper again, yet I was conscious of a secret shock when my eye fell upon the first batch of display head-lines. I had lived in a clammy atmosphere of reverence, respect, deference, so long that they sent a quivery little cold wave through me: [Image]
HIGH TIMES IN THE VALLEY OF HOLINESS! — — – THE WATER-MORKS CORKED! — — – BRER MERLIN WORKS HIS ARTS, BUT GETS LEFT? — — – But t he Boss scores on his first Innings! — — – The Miraculous Well Uncorked amid awful outbursts of INFERNAL FIRE AND SMOKE ANDTHUNDER! — — – THE BUZZARD-ROOST ASTONISHED! — — – UNPARALLELED REJOIBINGS! — — –
— mdash; and so on, and so on. Yes, it was too loud. Once I could have enjoyed it and seen nothing out of the ———————————————————————— Page 247
way about it, but now its note was discordant. It was good Arkansas journalism, but this was not Arkansas. Moreover, the next to the last line was calculated to give offense to the hermits, and perhaps lose us their advertising. Indeed, there was too lightsome a tone of flippancy all through the paper. It was plain I had undergone a considerable change without noticing it. I found myself unpleasantly affected by pert little irreverencies which would have seemed but proper and airy graces of speech at an earlier period of my life. There was an abundance of the following breed of items, and they discomforted me: [Image]
Local Smoke and Cinders
Local Smoke and Cinders.
Sir Launcelot met up with old King Agrivance of Ireland unexpectedly last weok over on the moor south of Sir Balmoral le Merveilleuse’s hog dasture. The widow has been notified.
Expedition No. 3 will start adout the first of nextmgnth on a search f8r Sir Sagramour le Desirous. It is in command of the renowned Knight of the Red Lawns, assisted by Sir Persant of Inde, who is compete9t. intelligent, courteous, and in every mav a brick, and furtHer assisted by Sir Palamides the Saracen, who is no huckleberry himself. This is no pic-nic, these boys mean busine&s.
The readers of the Hosannah will regret to learn that the handsome and popular Sir Charolais of Gaul, who during his four weeks’ stay at the Bull and ———————————————————————— Page 248
[Image]
Halibut, thiscity, has won every heart by his polished manners and elegant cnversation, will pull out to-day for home. Give us another call, Charley!
The bdsiness end of the funeral of the late Sir Dalliance the duke’s son of Cornwall, killed in an encounter with the Giant of the Knotted Bludgeon last Tuesday on the borders of the Plain of Enchantment was in the hands of the ever affable and eiffcient Mumble, prince of un3ertakers, then whom there exists none by whom it were a more satisfying pleasure to have the last sad offices performed. Give him a trial.
The cordial thanks of the Hosannah office are due, from editor down to devil, to the ever courteous and thoughtful Lord High Steward of the Palace’s Thrid Assistant V t for several sauce[Image]me for early promotion, the Hosannah would like a chance to sudgest.