A Phule and His Money by Robert Asprin with Peter J. Heck

“What the hell’s going on over there?” Maxie Pruett gestured toward the Fat Chance Casino. The gesture was unnecessary; everyone in the room knew exactly what she was referring to.

“As far as I can tell, Boss, not a damn thing,” said Altair Allie. Maxie had sent Allie to keep an eye on the Fat Chance as soon as she’d heard that her plans for Phule’s Company were ripening. “There was that one day when all hell broke loose, with the Yakuza guy starting a fight, and the little lizard playing chase through the casino, and the tax collectors and bikers showing up, and then nothing. The Army guys are acting like it’s all routine.”

“Not Army-Space Legion,” said Laverna.

“Legion, schmegion,” said Altair Allie with a dismissive wave. “They got guns and uniforms, and that’s Army enough for me. Point is, they’re acting like nothin’s wrong.”

“Precisely,” said Laverna. “They’ve announced a major training exercise scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. Open to the public-we’ll be watching, of course. In fact, I plan to go see it myself. Still, they’re carrying on as if they hadn’t noticed any of the aggravation we’ve been sending them. We pulled a lot of strings to give them all that grief. Greased quite a few palms, too.”

“And I expected a hell of a lot more effect,” said Maxie, with a fierce frown. “They ought to be worried…No, more than that. Under that kind of pressure, they ought to be sweating bullets. What’s wrong?”

“The Yakuza agent shipped out two days ago,” said Laverna. “He and the woman who came with him left with out contacting us, so we don’t know what happened there. But the impostor they came looking for is still very much alive.”

“That’s right, I seen him in the Pub last night,” said Altair Allie. “Didn’t look like he’d lost any sleep lately.”

Maxie’s frown deepened. “What about the Renegades?”

“They’re still hangin’ out,” Altair Allie answered. “No action yet, far as I see. But part of the hotel is closed off to outsiders now, and it didn’t use to be. It could be they’re hidin’ some new secret weapon or somethin’, but I’d lay you two-to-one that big mug Chocolate Harry-the one the bikers are after-is hidin’ out there.”

“Well, if he is, he has to come out sooner or later,” said Maxie, nodding. “All we have to do is keep those Renegades around to nail him when he does. And that won’t be hard. A free first-class hotel room and meals on the house are a pretty good incentive, don’t you think?”

“I’d hang around for that,” said Altair Allie. “But not gettin’ any action might get to ’em after a while.”

“If they get antsy, we’ll stir up some action for ’em,” said Maxie. “A good old-fashioned smoke bomb in the right place can scare a lot of people out of hiding…”

“Legionnaires aren’t a lot of people,” said Laverna, shaking her head. “I wouldn’t bet on that kind of trick working.”

“And since when did you become such a legionnaire fan?” Maxie snapped. “Is that fancy-dressing butler sweet-talking you into double-crossing me?”

“You know better than that,” said Laverna. “You pay me to tell you the truth, and that’s what you’re getting from me. The next time I pull my punches will be the first time.”

“I didn’t say you were pulling your punches. I said you were taking the Legion side,” Maxie retorted, standing up and walking around the table. She aimed a finger at Laverna from point-blank range, and bellowed, “If you double-cross me, you’re finished. Got it?”

“I knew that a long time ago,” said Laverna, still calm. Her nickname, the Ice Bitch, had never seemed more appropriate. “I’m not under any illusions; my only insurance is being too useful for you to do without me. That’s what I’m doing now-telling you something you need to know. I shouldn’t even have to tell you-you should remember the last time you tried to play rough with Phule’s people. You don’t want to see what they can do if they get really angry-as I’m certain they would if you flushed Chocolate Harry out of hiding for the Renegades to catch.”

“I didn’t say anything about doing it ourselves,” said Maxine. “I figured we might drop a little hint here or there…”

“I know what you meant, and so do you,” said Laverna. “Do what you want to do-that’s your usual way, anyhow-but don’t pretend you’ll like all the consequences. You might even try not to get angry at me for warning you.”

Maxine glowered, but nodded. “OK, I get the idea. All right, then. We won’t poke up that hornet’s nest. Besides, we still have the IRS on his tail. Allie, any report on them?”

“They’re poking around and asking people questions, but that’s about it,” said Altair Allie. “That’s their game, though. Pop up out of nowhere with a piece of paper that says you owe ’em everything you got. If soldier boy ain’t playing by their rules, he’s a goner. And there ain’t nobody in the casino game can play it straight enough for them buzzards-not and still make a buck, they can’t.”

“Tell me about it,” said Maxine. “Well, now that they’re on to him, we’ll have to let them play it their way. And hope they don’t notice anybody else on Lorelei.”

“Present company, for instance,” said Laverna grimly. Maxine looked at her intently, but the Ice Bitch’s face betrayed no sign of emotion. Perhaps it was only an offhand comment-and perhaps it was a subtle hint that Laverna might have other kinds of insurance against her boss than she’d admitted. Whatever it was, Maxine didn’t like it one bit. But there wasn’t much she could say about it, for the moment.

“You bastards don’t have any right to do this,” shouted Gears, as two stone-faced bouncers unceremoniously hustled him out of the Three Deuces. Neither bouncer answered. At the doorway, they picked him up between them, gave him a couple of warm-up swings, and tossed him bodily into the street. He landed in a heap, but rose quickly to his feet, turning with raised fists to confront his adversaries. Too late: They’d faded back inside the door, not even waiting to see if he’d try to return.

Gears stood for a moment, pondering what he should do next. He wasn’t drunk enough-though he was nearly angry enough-to charge back in and confront the bouncers. That game had only one likely outcome. He patted his jacket pocket. His wallet was still there, where the bouncers had shoved it after frog-marching him over to the cashier to collect his winnings. They’d cashed his chips honestly enough, then stuffed the money into his wallet and given him the heave-ho. But they’d made it clear he wasn’t welcome to gamble in the Three Deuces again. No gambling house likes system players, especially not when their system actually wins.

What now? he asked himself. It was late-not that that made any significant difference on Lorelei, where the casinos and saloons were open round-the-clock, ready to take a sucker’s money any time he appeared. But it did make a difference to Gears, who had to be ready for duty back at the Fat Chance in just under four hours. Some of that time ought to be spent sleeping-if he wasn’t going to nod off on duty, and get yelled at by Chocolate Harry, which he wasn’t anxious to try.

He sighed and looked down the street toward the Fat Chance, then shook his head. His luck was hot tonight-even with a system, you needed luck to win big. Tonight the dice had been coming up right. It would be a shame to quit when everything was in the groove. He turned the other way, and went looking for another casino.

Next thing he knew, he was in an unfamiliar neighborhood, with dimmer lights and fewer people than the ones he normally frequented. Belatedly, it crossed his mind that it might not be as safe, either…

That was when a large, dark shadow loomed from a nearby alleyway, and a gravelly voice said, “You just found the wrong part of town, buddy.”

“Who’s that?” said Gears, suddenly aware that he and this newcomer were the only ones on this side street.

“I’m not stupid enough to tell you that,” said the stranger, in a surprisingly reasonable tone of voice. In the dim light, Gears could see that he was dressed in workman’s clothing, and muscled like a man used to heavy physical work. He was also very big. The stranger stepped closer and said, “The less you know about who I am, the less you can tell.” He reached out a huge paw. “Just give me your money and it’ll go easy with you.”

“No way in hell,” said Gears, and he spun away from the man, already breaking into a run. He remembered an open saloon at the next street corner; he’d go there and call the Fat Chance for backup.

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59

Leave a Reply 0

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *