A Phule and His Money by Robert Asprin with Peter J. Heck

Shortly after its arrival on the space station, Phule’s Company had begun making regular use of Gladstone Park for training exercises. Its variety of “natural” terrain, from dense woods to open meadows to rocky hillsides made it a useful simulation of conditions likely to be encountered planetside on many worlds. After all, Phule had no illusion that the company’s assignment to Lorelei was a permanent one. He knew that sooner or later, the Legion’s top brass would give Omega Company an assignment that put it to the utmost test. When the call came, Phule wanted his legionnaires to be ready for it.

But today was a special exercise-not least because so many spectators had come. It was not unusual for a small group of Lorelei’s inhabitants to observe the legionnaires’ maneuvers. Some of these, Phule knew, were spies for rival casinos trying to spot some weakness in the troops guarding the Fat Chance Casino. He accepted the challenge and made sure the show was always sufficiently daunting to discourage anyone foolish enough to think about taking over the casino by force-not that any had been willing to make the attempt, after the convincing defeat of Maxie’s bid.

Today, though, the exercise had been publicized, and had drawn a good crowd of curiosity seekers anxious to get a glimpse of the legendary Gambolts. The publicity had stressed the cat-like aliens’ reputation as the finest troops in the galaxy, as well as their being the first Gambolts to volunteer to serve in a unit with other species. The publicity had not mentioned Phule’s plans for the exercise. Since such plans were not usually announced in advance, nobody thought to comment on it.

Phule looked down at the gathering crowd from atop a portable observation tower the legionnaires had constructed to one side of the exercise field. There among the spectators were the three Renegades, peering intently at the Space Legion troops assembling below his position. Looking to see if Chocolate Harry has come along, he thought. Of course, the supply sergeant had been excused from today’s activities. C.H. would have to deal with the Renegades eventually-that was a given-but Phule was not going to force him to abandon his defenses. The confrontation, when it occurred, would take place on ground of Harry’s choosing. Phule thought he knew how to manipulate the outlaw bikers onto that territory. That was, in fact, one purpose of today’s exercise.

He scanned the crowd with his stereoculars (not the milspec Legion-issue model, but a custom set from Optronix Ltd., with extra memory for stored images and enhancements for infrared, glare reduction, and infinite focus). Right away, he spotted two more familiar faces: reporter Jennie Higgins and holophotographer Sidney, covering the show for Interstellar News Services. Phule’s Company had been hot media fare ever since the commanding officer’s flamboyant style had come to Jennie’s attention. The resulting attention had been a mixed blessing, but on the whole Phule was glad to have had it. Better a reputation you had to strive to live up to than one you wished you could live down.

There were other familiar faces among the spectators, too. There were half a dozen he recognized as security chiefs for rival casinos, undoubtedly here to pick up hints on his troops’ capabilities. And despite her official abandonment of the attempt to run Phule out of business, Maxie had sent her assistant Laverna to view the happenings-or perhaps she had come on her own, although she didn’t give the impression of being the outdoor, spectator sports type.

On the other hand, the crowd was full of the spectator sports types, most of whom had come to be entertained-and to bet on whatever was about to transpire. Several bookies had set up impromptu stands, ready to set odds and cover wagers. (It didn’t matter that the exact details hadn’t been announced; there was bound to be something to bet on, and somebody willing to risk a few units on the outcome.) Phule smiled; once the crowd saw what he had in mind, the bookies would be swamped with business. He was almost tempted to send Beeker over to place some bets on his behalf, but there was little point to it. Any bet large enough to be interesting would skew the odds to the point that he’d get a minuscule return-assuming the bookies were willing to cover it in the first place.

And, reluctant as he was to admit it, it wouldn’t be a sure return. He was gambling-even without placing bets, he was gambling-on a system that was about to be put to its most strenuous test. It had been risky enough to pit his whole company against the Red Eagles, the Regular Army’s elite company. Now he was pitting raw rookies against Gambolts, the most respected fighters known. He’d find plenty of bettors willing to go against him-and it was not going to be a sure thing.

“Everything’s set, Captain,” said a voice at his elbow.

Phule awoke from his musing with a start; he hadn’t even seen Brandy approaching. “Good work, Brandy. No point keeping all these people waiting, then. Let’s get it started!”

“Right, Captain!” Brandy turned to the small group of uniformed figures waiting a short distance away, and barked out her orders. “Gambolts-front and center!”

The three Gambolts moved gracefully through the ranks of legionnaires and came to attention.

“The obstacle course is designed to build the confidence of the entire unit,” said Brandy, speaking for the onlookers’ ears as well as for her troops’. “This company has its own special way of running the course, and you’ll learn that in due time. But today we have a special exercise for our new members. Flight Leftenant Qual, our Zenobian military attaché, will be assisting us. Are you ready, Leftenant?”

“Ready, Sergeant Cognac,” said the Zenobian’s translator as the little lizardlike alien stepped forward, his teeth displayed in what Phule knew was intended as a smile, but which most of the spectators instinctively flinched away from. Those who paid attention to such details would have noticed that Qual was wearing not his regular dress uniform, but black fatigues and running shoes.

Brandy turned to the three Gambolts again. “The Leftenant will run the course, and we will give him a three minute head start. Then you three will try to capture him and bring him to the finish line. He will attempt to reach the end under his own power. You will take every precaution not to injure one another, but short of that, all tactics are legal. Any questions?”

The Gambolts shook their heads-a gesture they’d picked up from their human counterparts since joining the Legion. “Good,” said Brandy. “Leftenant, start when you’re ready.”

“Bonsai!” shouted the Zenobian, and he took off down the course.

Brandy watched him take off, then turned back to the troops. “Oh yeah, we forgot to tell you one other detail about this exercise. Three minutes after you Gambolts start, the rest of the recruits will follow you. It’ll be their job to prevent you from capturing the leftenant. Again, anything they want to do is legit, as long as nobody’s trying to hurt the others.”

Surprise blossomed on the recruits’ faces. “Sergeant, is this some sort of joke?” said Mahatma. “Of course, we’re going to give this our best try. But we’ve seen what these Gambolts can do. They’ll be at the finish, with Leftenant Qual in tow, before most of us have cleared the first barrier.”

“Don’t give up before you start,” said Brandy, her eyes fixed on her chronometer. Qual was barrelling down the course, showing the same agility he’d demonstrated while leading Phule’s legionnaires in a not-so-merry chase through the hotel. “Two minutes to go.”

“Qual may have enough of a head start to get there before the Gambolts can catch him,” muttered one of the other recruits. “That’s our best chance of winning.” Several heads in the ranks nodded in agreement.

Meanwhile, the crowd had grasped what was going on, and was rapidly trying to place bets before the issue was settled.

“That lizard’s quicker than a flash,” said one spectator. “I got fifty says he gets to the end before the cats catch him.”

“I’m offering two-to-one on the lizard, even money on the cats,” replied the bookie he’d approached.

“No way, you gotta give me three-to-one!” Because of the Gambolts’ formidable reputation-and reports of Garbo’s quick capture of Qual in the Fat Chance lobby-the heaviest betting was on the Gambolts. Soon, Qual’s supporters were getting odds of five- or six-to-one. Nobody seemed to consider the human recruits a serious factor.

“One minute,” said Brandy. The Gambolts were stretching their muscles, limbering up for the run. Like the rest of the recruits, they would be carrying full packs for the run-a tradition Phule had insisted on, even though it apparently gave the Gambolts an even greater advantage over the human rookies. Pound for pound, their catlike bodies possessed more raw strength than even the best-trained human athlete could match.

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