“The idea of taking a drug for a personality trait bothers me,” Kim said. “Personality is supposed to come from experience not chemistry.”
“This is sounding like a conversation we’ve already had,” Edward said with a laugh. “I guess as a chemist I’m bound to feel differently. Suit yourself, but I guarantee you’d feel more assertive if you try it. And that’s not all. We also think it enhances long-term memory and alleviates fatigue and anxiety. I had a good demonstration of this latter effect just this morning. I got a call from Harvard announcing they’ve instituted suit against me. It infuriated me, but the outrage only lasted a few minutes. Ultra smoothed my anger out, so instead of pounding the walls I was able to think about the situation rationally and make appropriate decisions.”
“I’m glad you are finding it so helpful,” Kim said. “But I still don’t want to take it.” She tried to give the container back to Edward. He pushed her hand away.
“Keep it,” he said. “All I ask is that you give it some serious thought. Just take one capsule a day and you’ll be amazed at who you are.”
Understanding that Edward was adamant, Kim dropped the vial into her bag.
Later at the restaurant, while Kim was in the ladies’ room standing in front of the mirror, she caught sight of the vial in her bag. Removing it, she undid the cap. With her thumb and index finger she lifted out one of the blue capsules and examined it. It seemed incredible it could do all the things Edward claimed.
Glancing in the mirror, she admitted to herself how much she’d like to be more assertive and less fearful. She also admitted how tempting it would be to deal so easily with her low-level but nagging anxiety. She looked back down at the capsule. Then she shook her head. For a moment she’d wavered, but as she put the capsule back into the container, she reaffirmed that drugs were not her answer.
As Kim returned to the restaurant proper she reminded herself that she’d always been suspicious of quick and easy solutions. Over the years she’d developed the opinion that the best way to deal with her problems was the old-fashioned way with introspection, a little pain, and effort.
Later that night, while Kim was comfortably reading in bed, she heard the front door slam shut. It made her jump. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was before eleven.
“Edward?” she called out nervously.
“It’s just me,” Edward called back as he came up the stairs two at a time. He poked his head into Kim’s bedroom. “I hope I didn’t scare you,” he said.
“It’s so early,” Kim said. “Are you okay?”
“Couldn’t be better,” Edward said. “I even feel energetic, which is amazing since I’ve been up since five this morning.”
He went into the half-bath and began brushing his teeth. While he did so he managed to maintain a lively chatter about humorous incidents that occurred in the lab that evening. It seemed that the researchers were playing harmless practical jokes on each other. ‘
As Edward spoke, Kim reflected on how different her own mood was from everyone else’s at the compound. Despite Edward’s apparent turnaround, she still was uptight, vaguely anxious, and even still a bit depressed.
After Edward was finished in the bathroom he returned to Kim’s room and sat on the edge of her bed. Buffer followed him in and, to Sheba’s chagrin, tried to jump up as well.
“No, you don’t, you rascal,” Edward said as he scooped the dog up and held him in his lap.
“Are you going to bed already?” Kim asked.
“I am indeed,” Edward said. “I’ve got to be up at three-thirty instead of the usual five to deal with an experiment I’m running. Out here in Salem I don’t have any postdocs to do my dirty work.”
“That’s not much sleep,” Kim said.
“It’s been adequate,” Edward said. Then he changed the subject abruptly. “How much money did you inherit along with the compound?”
Kim blinked. Edward seemed to be surprising her every time he opened his mouth. The inappropriateness of this new question was completely out of character for him.