Carl Hiaasen – Naked Came The Manatee

Granny.

A thought made Fay shiver slightly, despite the hostile midafternoon sun: If Castro’s heads had put Phil in danger, wasn’t her grandmother in danger too?

Granny had tucked the lone metal canister with Castro’s head on the bottom shelf of her refrigerator—”Just in case it starts to thaw,” she’d said, patting it like a leftover pot roast. “I’m not too fond of dead flesh at room temperature, Fay. Even a head of state.”

Fay wasn’t crazy about dead flesh at any temperature, especially disembodied flesh. As soon as she got to a phone, Fay decided, she would give her grandmother a call, just to hear her voice. That way, maybe she could shake off the feeling, which had snaked its way around her middle, that something was terribly wrong.

It was a body.

Fishing off the bay at Peacock Park in Coconut Grove on Sundays, all day on Sunday, standing on the same spot of fine white sand beside his favorite clump of sea grape trees, Vernon Sawyer had seen enough floaters over the years to know one from a distance. And this one was bobbing only fifteen yards out, just beyond his plastic red and white cork, a patch of unexpected shade for a school of minnows that had just vanished underneath it.

That was the thing about this park, which seemed to Vernon like a tiny strip of paradise for the common man. There was more to it than the neatly planted rows of coconut palms, or the view of the legion of rich folks’ sailboats docked across the way. You never knew what you would find here, whether it was a squatters’ campsite built from plastic wrapped around a trio of palm trees or an unforgettable conversation with a vagrant who’d seen the world and who understood its workings, inside his unkempt head, better than any coiffed, overfed politician he might ever meet.

That was why Vernon came here, for the surprises. It sure wasn’t for the fish.

Today’s surprise, the body, was fairly fresh, hardly any swelling, not puffed the way bodies get when they’ve been in the water for days. Once, Vernon had seen a brother who’d ballooned so big that his skin had peeled off white, except in spots.

Not this one. Not her.

It was a woman, a white lady, he could see that. She looked almost serene, bobbing facedown in the rust-colored water as though she were embracing it. Her white hair fanned around her head like a lace wedding veil. Her lifeless body was clothed in a pair of soaked khakis and a dark shirt, maybe plaid.

Shame, Vernon thought. She’d preserved a quiet dignity like this, floating undisturbed, never mind the empty water jug and plastic bag drifting beside her. Soon, with all of the flashing sirens and strangers’ hands pulling on her, probing her, she’d be just another corpse. Her spirit might be at rest, but her body’s work for the day had just begun.

The current was lulling her and her entourage of trash toward him, so Vernon decided to fish her out himself. He was a fisherman, after all, even if all he used was a cane pole baited with bread, and even if he couldn’t remember the last time he’d caught anything living. He wasn’t afraid to touch bodies; they were just vessels, more or less, like the empty Coke bottles and crushed cigarette packages strewn across the water’s edge.

Vernon yanked his line out of the water, and his suspicion was confirmed. The bait was long gone. Some crafty little bugger had taken it without so much as a ripple. Anyone who doesn’t think fish are as smart as people don’t know many fish, Vernon thought.

He cast the line out as far as he could, aiming for the back of the dead woman’s shirt collar, then gently pulled on it to see if something would catch.

Something did. He must have snagged her skin or clothing, because the line went completely taut when Vernon pulled. He’d have to stand up for this one, he decided. Even an old woman’s body, waterlogged, weighed much more than he’d counted on.

By the time the cane pole snapped in half, the body was close enough for Vernon to wade out and grab the pudgy, lifeless fingers. “Thatta girl,” Vernon mumbled, gripping her tight to guide her from her floating grave.

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