Maestro, you bring me new hope.
I told him that his feelings for his mother had touched me
very deeply. I was in fact appalled by all that had happened
but I doubted intensely that I had brought hope of any kind
to him.
You have! he exclaimed with great certainty. I’ve felt
terrible all this time. To have your own mother coming after
you with an ax is nothing anyone can feel happy about. But
now she’s out of the way, thanks to you and whatever you did.
Those women hate me because they’re convinced I’m a
coward. They just can’t get it through their thick heads that
we are different. You and those four women are different than
me and the Witness and Benigno in one important way. All
five of you were pretty much dead before the Nagual found
you. He told us that once you had even tried to kill yourself.
We were not that way. We were well and alive and happy.
We are the opposite of you. You are desperate people; we arc
not. If Genaro hadn’t come my way I would be a happy car-
penter today. Or perhaps I would have died. It doesn’t matter.
I would’ve done what I could and that would have been fine.
His words plunged me into a curious mood. I had to admit
that he was right in that those women and myself were indeed
desperate people. If I had not met don Juan I would no doubt
be dead, but I could not say, as Pablito had, that it would have
been fine with me either way. Don Juan had brought life and
vigor to my body and freedom to my spirit.
Pablito’s statements made me remember something don Juan
had told me once when we were talking about an old man, a
friend of mine. Don Juan had said in very emphatic terms that
the old man’s life or death had no significance whatsoever. I
felt a bit cross at what I thought to be redundance on don
Juan’s part. I told him that it went without saying that the life
and death of that old man had no significance, since nothing in
the world could possibly have any significance except to each
one of us personally.
You said it! he exclaimed, and laughed. That’s exactly
what I mean. That old man’s life and death have no signifi-
cance to him personally. He could have died in nineteen
twenty-nine, or in nineteen fifty, or he could live until nine-
teen ninety-five. It doesn’t matter. Everything is stupidly the
same to him.
My life before I met don Juan had been that way. Nothing
had ever mattered to me. I used to act as if certain things
affected me, but that was only a calculated ploy to appear as a
sensitive man.
Pablito spoke to me and disrupted my reflections. He
wanted to know if he had hurt my feelings. I assured him that
it was nothing. In order to start up the conversation again, I
asked him where he had met don Genaro.
My fate was that my boss got ill, he said. And I had to
go to the city market in his place to build a new section of
clothing booths. I worked there for two months. While I was
there I met the daughter of the owner of one of the booths.
We fell in love. I built her father’s stand a little bigger than
the others so I could make love to her under the counter while
her sister took care of the customers.
One day Genaro brought a sack of medicinal plants to a
retailer across the aisle, and while they were talking he noticed
that the clothing stand was shaking. He looked carefully at the
stand but he only saw the sister sitting on a chair half-asleep.
The man told Genaro that every day the stand shook like that
around that hour. The next day Genaro brought the Nagual
to watch the stand shaking, and sure enough that day it shook.
They came back the next day and it shook again. So they
waited there until I came out. That day I made their acquain-
tance, and soon after Genaro told me that he was an herbalist
and proposed to make me a potion that no woman could resist.
I liked women so I fell for it. He certainly made the potion for
me, but it took him ten years. In the meantime I got to know
him very well, and I grew to love him more than if he were
my own brother. And now I miss him like hell. So you see, he
tricked me. Sometimes I’m glad that he did; most of the time I
resent it, though.
Don Juan told me that sorcerers have to have an omen be-
fore they choose someone. Was there something of that sort
with you, Pablito?
Yes. Genaro said that he got curious watching the stand
shaking and then he saw that two people were making love
under the counter. So he sat down to wait for the people to
come out; he wanted to see who they were. After a while the
girl appeared in the stand but he missed me. He thought it was
very strange that he would miss me after being so determined
to set eyes on me. The next day he came back with the
Nagual. He also saw that two people were making love, but
when it was time to catch me, they both missed me. They
came back again the next day; Genaro went around to the
back of the stand while the Nagual stayed out in front. I
bumped into Genaro while I was crawling out. I thought he
hadn’t seen me because I was still behind the piece of cloth
that covered a small square opening I had made on the side
wall. I began to bark to make him think there was a small dog
under the drape. He growled and barked back at me and
really made me believe that there was a huge mad dog on the
other side. I got so scared I ran out the other way and crashed
into the Nagual. If he would have been an ordinary man, I
would have thrown him to the ground because I ran right into
him, but instead, he lifted me up like a child. I was absolutely
flabbergasted. For being such an old man he was truly strong.
I thought I could use a strong man like that to carry lumber
for me. Besides I didn’t want to lose face with the people who
had seen me running out from under the counter. I asked him
if he would like to work for me. He said yes. That same day
he went to the shop and started to work as my assistant. He
worked there every day for two months. I didn’t have a
chance with those two devils.
The incongruous image of don Juan working for Pablito
was extremely humorous to me. Pablito began to imitate the
way don Juan carried lumber on his shoulders. I had to
agree with la Gorda that Pablito was as good an actor as Jose-
fina.
Why did they go to all that trouble, Pablito?
They had to trick me. You don’t think that I would go
with them just like that, do you? I’ve heard all my life about
sorcerers and curers and witches and spirits, and I never be-
lieved a word of it. Those who talked about things like that
were just ignorant people. If Genaro had told me that he and
his friend were sorcerers, I would’ve walked out on them. But
they were too clever for me. Those two foxes were really sly.
They were in no hurry. Genaro said that he would’ve waited
for me if it took him twenty years. That’s why the Nagual
went to work for me. I asked him to, so it was really me who
gave them the key.
The Nagual was a diligent worker. I was a little bit of a
rascal in those days and I thought I was the one playing a trick
on him. I believed that the Nagual was just a stupid old Indian
so I told him that I was going to tell the boss that he was my
grandpa, otherwise they wouldn’t hire him, but I had to get a
percentage of his salary. The Nagual said that it was fine with
him. He gave me something out of the few pesos he made each
day.
My boss was very impressed with my grandpa because he
was such a hard worker. But the other guys made fun of him.
As you know, he had the habit of cracking all his joints from
time to time. In the shop he cracked them every time he
carried anything. People naturally thought that he was so old