the influence of his smoking mixture. I had experienced incon-
ceivable sensations. Once I saw myself all green as if I were
covered with algae. After that he recommended that I avoid
water.
Has my second attention been injured by water? I asked.
It has, she replied. You are a very indulging man. The
Nagual warned you to be cautious, but you went beyond
your limits with running water. The Nagual said that you
could’ve used water like no one else, but it wasn’t your fate
to be moderate.
She pulled her bench closer to mine.
That’s all there is to gazing, she said. But there are other
things I must tell you before you leave.
What things, Gorda?
First of all, before I say anything, you must round up your
second attention for the little sisters and me.
I don’t think I can do that.
La Gorda stood up and went into the house. She came back
a moment later with a small, thick, round cushion made out of
the same natural fiber used in making nets. Without saying a
word she led me again to the front porch. She said that she had
made that cushion herself for her comfort when she was learn-
ing to gaze, because the position of the body was of great
importance while one was gazing. One had to sit on the
ground on a soft mat of leaves, or on a cushion made out of
natural fibers. The back had to be propped against a tree, or a
stump, or a flat rock. The body had to be thoroughly relaxed.
The eyes were never fixed on the object, in order to avoid
tiring them. The gaze consisted in scanning very slowly the
object gazed at, going counterclockwise but without moving
the head. She added that the Nagual had made them plant
those thick poles so they could use them to prop themselves.
She had me sit on her cushion and prop my back against a
pole. She told me that she was going to guide me in gazing at
a power spot that the Nagual had in the round hills across the
valley. She hoped that by gazing at it I would get the neces-
sary energy to round up my second attention.
She sat down very close to me, to my left, and began giving
me instructions. Almost in a whisper she told me to keep my
eyelids half closed and stare at the place where two enormous
round hills converged. There was a narrow, steep water can-
yon there. She said that that particular gazing consisted of
four separate actions. The first one was to use the brim of my
hat as a visor to shade off the excessive glare from the sun and
allow only a minimal amount of light to come to my eyes;
then to half-close my eyelids; the third step was to sustain the
opening of my eyelids in order to maintain a uniform flow of
light; and the fourth step was to distinguish the water canyon
in the background through the mesh of light fibers on my
eyelashes.
I could not follow her instructions at first. The sun was
high over the horizon and I had to tilt my head back. I tipped
my hat until I had blocked off most of the glare with the brim.
That seemed to be all that was needed. As soon as I half closed
my eyes, a bit of light that appeared as if it were coming from
the tip of my hat literally exploded on my eyelashes, which
were acting as a filter that created a web of light. I kept my
eyelids half closed and played with the web of light for a
moment until I could distinguish the dark, vertical outline of
the water canyon in the background.
La Gorda told me then to gaze at the middle part of the
canyon until I could spot a very dark brown blotch. She said
that it was a hole in the canyon which was not there for the
eye that looks, but only for the eye that sees. She warned me
that I had to exercise my control as soon as I had isolated that
blotch, so that it would not pull me toward it. Rather, I was
supposed to zoom in on it and gaze into it. She suggested that
the moment I found the hole I should press my shoulders on
hers to let her know. She slid sideways until she was leaning
on me.
I struggled for a moment to keep the four actions coordin-
ated and steady, and suddenly a dark spot was formed in the
middle of the canyon. I noticed immediately that I was not
seeing it in the way I usually see. The dark spot was rather an
impression, a visual distortion of sorts. The moment my con-
trol waned it disappeared. It was in my field of perception
only if I kept the four actions under control. I remembered
then that don Juan had engaged me countless times in a similar
activity. He used to hang a small piece of cloth from a low
branch of a bush, which was strategically located to be in line
with specific geological formations in the mountains in the
background, such as water canyons or slopes. By making me
sit about fifty feet away from that piece of cloth, and having
me stare through the low branches of the bush where the cloth
hung, he used to create a special perceptual effect in me. The
piece of cloth, which was always a shade darker than the
geological formation I was staring at, seemed to be at first a
feature of that formation. The idea was to let my perception
play without analyzing it. I failed every time because I was
thoroughly incapable of suspending judgment, and my mind
always entered into some rational speculation about the
mechanics of my phantom perception.
This time I felt no need whatsoever for speculations. La
Gorda was not an imposing figure that I unconsciously needed
to fight, as don Juan had obviously been to me.
The dark blotch in my field of perception became almost
black. I leaned on la Gorda’s shoulder to let her know. She
whispered in my ear that I should struggle to keep my eyelids
in the position they were in and breathe calmly from my ab-
domen. I should not let the blotch pull me, but gradually go
into it. The thing to avoid was letting the hole grow and sud-
denly engulf me. In the event that that happened I had to open
my eyes immediately.
I began to breathe as she had prescribed, and thus I could
keep my eyelids fixed indefinitely at the appropriate aperture.
I remained in that position for quite some time. Then I
noticed that I had begun to breathe normally and that it had
not disturbed my perception of the dark blotch. But suddenly
the dark blotch began to move, to pulsate, and before I could
breathe calmly again, the blackness moved forward and en-
veloped me. I became frantic and opened my eyes.
La Gorda said that I was doing distance gazing and for that
it was necessary to breathe the way she had recommended.
She urged me to start all over again. She said that the Nagual
used to make them sit for entire days rounding up their second
attention by gazing at that spot. He cautioned them repeatedly
about the danger of being engulfed because of the jolt the
body suffered.
It took me about an hour of gazing to do what she had de-
lineated. To zoom in on the brown spot and gaze into it meant
that the brown patch in my field of perception lightened up
quite suddenly. As it became clearer I realized that something
in me was performing an impossible act. I felt that I was actu-
ally advancing toward that spot; thus the impression I was
having that it was clearing up. Then I was so near to it that I
could distinguish features in it, like rocks and vegetation. I
came even closer and could look at a peculiar formation on
one rock. It looked like a roughly carved chair. I liked it very
much; compared to it the rest of the rocks seemed pale and
uninteresting.
I don’t know how long I gazed at it. I could focus on every
detail of it. I felt that I could lose myself forever in its detail
because there was no end to it. But something dispelled my
view; another strange image was superimposed on the rock,
and then another one, and another yet. I became annoyed with
the interference. At the instant I became annoyed I also
realized that la Gorda was moving my head from side to side
from behind me. In a matter of seconds the concentration of
my gazing had been thoroughly dissipated.