I were sprawled on the ground in the yard behind the house.
The Genaros were drenching us with buckets of water.
I sprang up. Either the cold water or the extravagant experi-
ence I had just been through had invigorated me. La Gorda
and the little sisters put on a change of clothes that the Genaros
must have laid out in the sun. My clothes had also been neatly
laid on the ground. I changed without a word. I was experi-
encing the peculiar feeling that seems to follow the focusing
of the second attention; I could not talk, or rather I could talk
but I did not want to. My stomach was upset. La Gorda
seemed to sense it and pulled me gently to the area in back of
the fence. I became ill. La Gorda and the little sisters were
affected the same way.
I returned to the kitchen area and washed my face. The
coldness of the water seemed to restore my awareness. Pablito,
Nestor and Benigno were sitting around the table. Pablito had
brought his chair. He stood up and shook hands with me. Then
Nestor and Benigno did the same. La Gorda and the little sis-
ters joined us.
There seemed to be something wrong with me. My ears
were buzzing. I felt dizzy. Josefina stood up and grabbed onto
Rosa for support. I turned to ask la Gorda what to do. Lidia
was falling backward over the bench. I caught her, but her
weight pulled me down and I fell over with her.
I must have fainted. I woke up suddenly. I was lying on a
straw mat in the front room. Lidia, Rosa and Josefina were
sound asleep next to me. I had to crawl over them to stand up.
I nudged them but they did not wake up. I walked out to
the kitchen. La Gorda was sitting with the Genaros around the
table.
Welcome back, Pablito said.
He added that la Gorda had woken up a short while before.
I felt that I was my old self again. I was hungry. La Gorda
gave me a bowl of food. She said that they had already eaten.
After eating I felt perfect in every respect except I could not
think as I usually do. My thoughts had quieted down tremen-
dously. I did not like that state. I noticed then that it was late
afternoon. I had a sudden urge to jog in place facing the sun,
the way don Juan used to make me do. I stood up and la Gorda
joined me. Apparently she had had the same idea. Moving like
that made me perspire. I got winded very quickly and returned
to the table. La Gorda followed me. We sat down again. The
Genaros were staring at us. La Gorda handed me my writing
pad.
The Nagual here got us lost, la Gorda said.
The moment she spoke I experienced a most peculiar burst-
ing. My thoughts came back to me in an avalanche. There
must have been a change in my expression, for Pablito em-
braced me and so did Nestor and Benigno.
The Nagual is going to live! Pablito said loudly.
La Gorda also seemed delighted. She wiped her forehead in
a gesture of relief. She said that I had nearly killed all of them
and myself with my terrible tendency to indulge.
To focus the second attention is no joke, Nestor said.
What happened to us, Gorda? I asked.
We got lost, she said. You began to indulge in your fear
and we got lost in that immensity. We couldn’t focus our at-
tention of the tonal anymore. But we succeeded in bundling
up our second attention with yours and now you have two
faces.
Lidia, Rosa and Josefina stepped out into the kitchen at that
moment. They were smiling and seemed as fresh and vigorous
as ever. They helped themselves to some food. They sat down
and nobody uttered a word while they ate. The moment the
last one had finished eating, la Gorda picked up where she had
left off.
Now you’re a warrior with two faces, she went on. The
Nagual said that all of us have to have two faces to fare well
in both attentions. He and Genaro helped us to round up our
second attention and turned us around so we could face in
two directions, but they didn’t help you, because to be a true
nagual you have to claim your power all by yourself. You’re
still a long way from that, but let’s say that now you’re walk-
ing upright instead of crawling, and when you’ve regained
your completeness and have lost your form, you’ll be gliding.
Benigno made a gesture with his hand of a plane in flight
and imitated the roar of the engine with his booming voice.
The sound was truly deafening.
Everybody laughed. The little sisters seemed to be de-
lighted.
I had not been fully aware until then that it was late after-
noon. I said to la Gorda that we must have slept for hours, for
we had gone into their room before noon. She said that we had
not slept long at all, that most of that time we had been lost in
the other world, and that the Genaros had been truly fright-
ened and despondent, because there was nothing they could
do to bring us back.
I turned to Nestor and asked him what they had actually
done or seen while we were gone. He stared at me for a mo-
ment before answering.
We brought a lot of water to the yard, he said, pointing
to some empty oil barrels. Then all of you staggered into the
yard and we poured water on you, that’s all.
Did we come out of the room? I asked him.
Benigno laughed loudly. Nestor looked at la Gorda as if
asking for permission or advice.
Did we come out of the room? la Gorda asked.
No, Nestor replied.
La Gorda seemed to be as anxious to know as I was, and that
was alarming to me. She even coaxed Nestor to speak.
You came from nowhere, Nestor said. I should also say
that it was frightening. All of you were like fog. Pablito saw
you first. You may have been in the yard for a long time, but
we didn’t know where to look for you. Then Pablito yelled
and all of us saw you. We have never seen anything like that.
What did we look like? I asked.
The Genaros looked at one another. There was an unbear-
ably long silence. The little sisters were staring at Nestor with
their mouths open.
You were like pieces of fog caught in a web, Nestor said.
When we poured water on you, you became solid again.
I wanted him to keep on talking but la Gorda said that there
was very little time left, for I had to leave at the end of the day
and she still had things to tell me. The Genaros stood up and
shook hands with the little sisters and la Gorda. They em-
braced me and told me that they only needed a few days in
order to get ready to move away. Pablito put his chair upside
down on his back. Josefina ran to the area around the stove,
picked up a bundle they had brought from dona Soledad’s
house and placed it between the legs of Pablito’s chair, which
made an ideal carrying device.
Since you’re going home you might as well take this, she
said. It belongs to you anyway.
Pablito shrugged his shoulders and shifted his chair in order
to balance the load.
Nestor signaled Benigno to take the bundle but Pablito
would not let him.
It’s all right, he said. I might as well be a jackass as long
as I’m carrying this damn chair.
Why do you carry it, Pablito? I asked.
I have to store my power, he replied. I can’t go around
sitting on just anything. Who knows what kind of a creep sat
there before me?
He cackled and made the bundle wiggle by shaking his
shoulders.
After the Genaros left, la Gorda explained to me that Pa-
blito began his crazy involvement with his chair to tease Lidia.
He did not want to sit where she had sat, but he had gotten
carried away, and since he loved to indulge he would not sit
anywhere else except on his chair.
He’s capable of carrying it through life, la Gorda said to
me with great certainty. He’s almost as bad as you. He’s your
partner; you’ll carry your writing pad through life and he’ll
carry his chair. What’s the difference? Both of you indulge
more than the rest of us.
The little sisters surrounded me and laughed, patting me on
the back.
It’s very hard to get into our second attention, la Gorda
went on, and to manage it when you indulge as you do is