of the boulder made its fall a very impressive event. Don Juan
seized the opportunity to create a dramatic lesson. He said that
the force that rules our destinies is outside of ourselves and has
nothing to do with our acts or volition. Sometimes that force
would make us stop walking on our way and bend over to tie
our shoelaces, as I had just done. And by making us stop, that
force makes us gain a precious moment. If we had kept on
walking, that enormous boulder would have most certainly
crushed us to death. Some other day, however, in another
ravine the same outside deciding force would make us stop
again to bend over and tie our shoelaces while another boulder
would get loose precisely above where we are standing. By
making us stop, that force would have made us lose a precious
moment. That time if we had kept on walking, we would have
saved ourselves. Don Juan said that in view of my total lack of
control over the forces which decide my destiny, my only
possible freedom in that ravine consisted in my tying my shoe-
laces impeccably.
La Gorda seemed to be moved by my account. For an in-
stant she held my face in her hands from across the table.
Impeccability for me is to tell you, at the right time, what
the Nagual told me to tell you, she said. But power has to
time perfectly what I have to reveal to yon, or it won’t have
any effect.
She paused in a dramatic fashion. Her delay was very
studied but terribly effective with me.
What is it? I asked desperately.
She did not answer. She took me by the arm and led me to
the area just outside the front door. She made me sit on the
hard-packed ground with my back against a thick pole about
one and a half feet high that looked like a tree stump which
had been planted in the ground almost against the wall of the
house. There was a row of five such poles planted about two
feet apart. I had meant to ask la Gorda what their function
was. My first impression had been that a former owner of the
house had tied animals to them. My conjecture seemed incon-
gruous, however, because the area just outside the front door
was a kind of roofed porch.
I told la Gorda my supposition as she sat down next to me
to my left, with her back against another pole. She laughed
and said that the poles were indeed used for tying animals of
sorts, but not by a former owner, and that she had nearly
broken her back digging the holes for them.
What do you use them for? I asked.
Let’s say that we tie ourselves to them, she replied. And
this brings me to the next thing the Nagual asked me to tell
you. He said that because you were empty he had to gather
your second attention, your attention of the nagual, in a way
different than ours. We gathered that attention through
dreaming and you did it with his power plants. The Nagual
said that his power plants gathered the menacing side of your
second attention in one clump, and that’s the shape that came
out of your head. He said that that’s what happens to sorcerers
when they are given power plants. If they don’t die, the power
plants spin their second attention into that awful shape that
comes out of their heads.
Now we’re coming to what he wanted you to do. He said
that you must change directions now and begin gathering
your second attention in another way, more like us. You can’t
keep on the path of knowledge unless you balance your
second attention. So far, that attention of yours has been
riding on the Nagual’s power, but now you are alone. That’s
what he wanted me to tell you.
How do I balance my second attention?
You have to do dreaming the way we do it. Dreaming is
the only way to gather the second attention without injuring
it, without making it menacing and awesome. Your second
attention is fixed on the awful side of the world; ours is on the
beauty of it. You have to change sides and come with us.
That’s what you chose last night when you decided to go
with us.
Could that shape come out of me at any time?
No. The Nagual said that it won’t come out again until
you’re as old as he is. Your nagual has already come out as
many times as was needed. The Nagual and Genaro have seen
to that. They used to tease it out of you. The Nagual told me
that sometimes you were a hair away from dying because
your second attention is very indulging. He said that once
you even scared him; your nagual attacked him and he had to
sing to it to calm it down. But the worst thing happened to
you in Mexico City; there he pushed you one day and you
went into an office and in that office you went through the
crack between the worlds. He intended only to dispel your
attention of the tonal; you were worried sick over some stupid
thing. But when he shoved you, your whole tonal shrunk and
your entire being went through the crack. He had a hellish
time finding you. He told me that for a moment he thought
you had gone farther than he could reach. But then he saw you
roaming around aimlessly and he brought you back. He told
me that you went through the crack around ten in the morn-
ing. So, on that day, ten in the morning became your new
time.
My new time for what?
For everything. If you remain a man you will die around
that time. If you become a sorcerer you will leave this world
around that time.
Eligio also went on a different path, a path none of us
knew about. We met him just before he left. Eligio was a most
marvelous dreamer. He was so good that the Nagual and
Genaro used to take him through the crack and he had the
power to withstand it, as if it were nothing. He didn’t even
pant. The Nagual and Genaro gave him a final boost with
power plants. He had the control and the power to handle
that boost. And that’s what sent him to wherever he is.
The Genaros told me that Eligio jumped with Benigno. Is
that true?
Sure. By the time Eligio had to jump, his second attention
had already been in that other world. The Nagual said that
yours had also been there, but that for you it was a nightmare
because you had no control. He said that his power plants had
made you lopsided; they had made you cut through your
attention of the tonal and had put you directly in the realm of
your second attention, but without any mastery over that
attention. The Nagual didn’t give power plants to Eligio until
the very last.
Do you think that my second attention has been injured,
Gorda?
The Nagual never said that. He thought you were danger-
ously crazy, but that has nothing to do with power plants. He
said that both of your attentions are unmanageable. If you
could conquer them you’d be a great warrior.
I wanted her to tell me more on the subject. She put her
hand on my writing pad and said that we had a terribly busy
day ahead of us and we needed to store energy in order to
withstand it. We had, therefore, to energize ourselves with the
sunlight. She said that the circumstances required that we take
the sunlight with the left eye. She began to move her head
slowly from side to side as she glanced directly into the sun
through her half-closed eyes.
A moment later Lidia, Rosa and Josefina joined us. Lidia sat
to my right, Josefina sat next to her, while Rosa sat next to la
Gorda. All of them were resting their backs against the poles.
I was in the middle of the row.
It was a clear day. The sun was just above the distant range
of mountains. They started moving their heads in perfect
synchronization. I joined them and had the feeling that I too
had synchronized my motion with theirs. They kept it up for
about a minute and then stopped.
All of them wore hats and used the brims to protect their
faces from the sunlight when they were not bathing their eyes
in it. La Gorda had given me my old hat to wear.
We sat there for about half an hour. In that time we re-
peated the exercise countless times. I intended to make a mark
on my pad for each time but la Gorda very casually pushed