Myth-Ing Persons By Robert L Asprin

-F. ASTAIRE

“BOSS, just where the hell is Pahkipsee?”

I found myself wondering if all bodyguards spent most of their time complaining, or if I had just gotten lucky.

“Look, Guido. You were there and heard the same instructions I did. If Vilhelm was right, it should be just up the road here a couple more miles.”

“… ‘a rather dead bedroom community, fit only for those not up to the fast-lane life-style of the big city,’ ” Massha quoted in a close imitation of the vampire’s voice.

Guido snickered rudely.

“Why do I get the feeling you didn’t particularly warm to Vilhelm, Massha?” I suppressed a grin of my own.

“Maybe it’s because he’s the only guy we’ve met she hasn’t made a pass at?” Guido suggested.

Massha favored him with an extended tongue and crossed eyes before answering.

“Oh, Vilhelm’s okay,” she said. “Kinda cute, too … at least the top of his head was. And he did admit that in general vampires were more partial to cities and parties while werewolves preferred the back-to-nature atmosphere of rural living. I just didn’t like the crack, that’s all. I grew up on a farm, you know. Country breakfasts have a lot to do with my current panoramic physique. Besides, something inside says you shouldn’t trust a smiling vampire. … or at least you shouldn’t trust him too far.”

I had been about to mention the fact that I had grown up on a farm, too, but withheld the information. Obviously, farm food hadn’t particularly affected my physique, and I didn’t want to rob my apprentice of her excuse.