The American Claimant by Mark Twain

to restrain its movements. I hope to persuade it to remain pretty quiet,

though, because a materialization which is in a state of arrested

development must of necessity be pretty soft and flabby and

substanceless, and–er–by the way, I wonder where It comes from?”

“How? What do you mean?”

The earl pointed significantly–and interrogatively toward the sky.

Hawkins started; then settled into deep reflection; finally shook his

head sorrowfully and pointed downwards.

“What makes you think so, Washington?”

“Well, I hardly know, but really you can see, yourself, that he doesn’t

seem to be pining for his last place.”

“It’s well thought! Soundly deduced. We’ve done that Thing a favor.

But I believe I will pump it a little, in a quiet way, and find out if we

are right.”

“How long is it going to take to finish him off and fetch him down to

date, Colonel?”

“I wish I knew, but I don’t. I am clear knocked out by this new detail–

this unforeseen necessity of working a subject down gradually from his

condition of ancestor to his ultimate result as posterity. But I’ll make

him hump himself, anyway.”

“Rossmore!”

“Yes, dear. We’re in the laboratory. Come–Hawkins is here. Mind, now

Hawkins–he’s a sound, living, human being to all the family–don’t

forget that. Here she comes.”

“Keep your seats, I’m not coming in. I just wanted to ask, who is it

that’s painting down there?”

“That? Oh, that’s a young artist; young Englishman, named Tracy; very

promising–favorite pupil of Hans Christian Andersen or one of the other

old masters–Andersen I’m pretty sure it is; he’s going to half-sole some

of our old Italian masterpieces. Been talking to him?”

“Well, only a word. I stumbled right in on him without expecting anybody

was there. I tried to be polite to him; offered him a snack”–(Sellers

delivered a large wink to Hawkins from behind his hand), “but he

declined, and said he wasn’t hungry” (another sarcastic wink); “so I

brought some apples” (doublewink), “and he ate a couple of–”

“What!” and the colonel sprang some yards toward the ceiling and came

down quaking with astonishment.

Lady Rossmore was smitten dumb with amazement. She gazed at the sheepish

relic of Cherokee Strip, then at her husband, and then at the guest

again. Finally she said:

“What is the matter with you, Mulberry?”

He did not answer immediately. His back was turned; he was bending over

his chair, feeling the seat of it. But he answered next moment, and

said:

“Ah, there it is; it was a tack.”

The lady contemplated him doubtfully a moment, then said, pretty

snappishly:

“All that for a tack! Praise goodness it wasn’t a shingle nail, it would

have landed you in the Milky Way. I do hate to have my nerves shook up

so.” And she turned on her heel and went her way.

As soon as she was safely out, the Colonel said, in a suppressed voice:

“Come–we must see for ourselves. It must be a mistake.”

They hurried softly down and peeped in. Sellers whispered, in a sort of

despair–

It is eating! What a grisly spectacle! Hawkins it’s horrible! Take me

away–I can’t stand–

They tottered back to the laboratory.

CHAPTER XX.

Tracy made slow progress with his work, for his mind wandered a good

deal. Many things were puzzling him. Finally a light burst upon him all

of a sudden–seemed to, at any rate–and he said to himself, “I’ve got

the clew at last–this man’s mind is off its balance; I don’t know how

much, but it’s off a point or two, sure; off enough to explain this mess

of perplexities, anyway. These dreadful chromos which he takes for old

masters; these villainous portraits–which to his frantic mind represent

Rossmores; the hatchments; the pompous name of this ramshackle old crib–

Rossmore Towers; and that odd assertion of his, that I was expected. How

could I be expected? that is, Lord Berkeley. He knows by the papers that

that person was burned up in the New Gadsby. Why, hang it, he really

doesn’t know who he was expecting; for his talk showed that he was not

expecting an Englishman, or yet an artist, yet I answer his requirements

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