house is no more–The Right Honourable, The Most Noble, The Most Puissant
Simon Lathers Lord Rossmore having departed this life (“Gone at last–
this is unspeakably precious news, my son,”) at his seat in the environs
of the hamlet of Duffy’s Corners in the grand old State of Arkansas,–and
his twin brother with him, both being crushed by a log at a
smoke-house-raising, owing to carelessness on the part of all present,
referable to over-confidence and gaiety induced by overplus of
sour-mash–(“Extolled be sour-mash, whatever that may be, eh Berkeley?”)
five days ago, with no scion of our ancient race present to close his
eyes and inter him with the honors due his historic name and lofty
rank-in fact, he is on the ice yet, him and his brother–friends took a
collection for it. But I shall take immediate occasion to have their
noble remains shipped to you (“Great heavens!”) for interment, with due
ceremonies and solemnities, in the family vault or mausoleum of our
house. Meantime I shall put up a pair of hatchments on my house-front,
and you will of course do the same at your several seats.
I have also to remind you that by this sad disaster I as sole heir,
inherit and become seized of all the titles, honors, lands, and goods of
our lamented relative, and must of necessity, painful as the duty is,
shortly require at the bar of the Lords restitution of these dignities
and properties, now illegally enjoyed by your titular lordship.
With assurance of my distinguished consideration and warm cousinly
regard, I remain
Your titular lordship’s
Most obedient servant,
Mulberry Sellers Earl Rossmore.
“Im-mense! Come, this one’s interesting. Why, Berkeley, his breezy
impudence is–is–why, it’s colossal, it’s sublime.”
“No, this one doesn’t seem to cringe much.”
“Cringe–why, he doesn’t know the meaning of the word. Hatchments! To
commemorate that sniveling tramp and his, fraternal duplicate. And he is
going to send me the remains. The late Claimant was a fool, but plainly
this new one’s a maniac. What a name! Mulberry Sellers–there’s music
for you, Simon Lathers–Mulberry Sellers–Mulberry Sellers–Simon
Lathers. Sounds like machinery working and churning. Simon Lathers,
Mulberry Sel– Are you going?”
“If I have your leave, father.” –
The old gentleman stood musing some time, after his son was gone. This
was his thought:
“He is a good boy, and lovable. Let him take his own course–as it would
profit nothing to oppose him–make things worse, in fact. My arguments
and his aunt’s persuasions have failed; let us see what America can do
for us. Let us see what equality and hard-times can effect for the
mental health of a brain-sick young British lord. Going to renounce his
lordship and be a man! Yas!”
CHAPTER II.
COLONEL MULBERRY SELLERS–this was some days before he wrote his letter
to Lord Rossmore–was seated in his “library,” which was also his
“drawing-room” and was also his “picture gallery” and likewise his
“work-shop.” Sometimes he called it by one of these names, sometimes by
another, according to occasion and circumstance. He was constructing
what seemed to be some kind of a frail mechanical toy; and was apparently
very much interested in his work. He was a white-headed man, now, but
otherwise he was as young, alert, buoyant, visionary and enterprising as
ever. His loving old wife sat near by, contentedly knitting and
thinking, with a cat asleep in her lap. The room was large, light, and
had a comfortable look, in fact a home-like look, though the furniture
was of a humble sort and not over abundant, and the knickknacks and
things that go to adorn a living-room not plenty and not costly. But
there were natural flowers, and there was an abstract and unclassifiable
something about the place which betrayed the presence in the house of
somebody with a happy taste and an effective touch.
Even the deadly chromos on the walls were somehow without offence;
in fact they seemed to belong there and to add an attraction to the room-
-a fascination, anyway; for whoever got his eye on one of them was like
to gaze and suffer till he died–you have seen that kind of pictures.
Some of these terrors were landscapes, some libeled the sea, some were