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The American Claimant by Mark Twain

ostensible portraits, all were crimes. All the portraits were

recognizable as dead Americans of distinction, and yet, through labeling

added, by a daring hand, they were all doing duty here as “Earls of

Rossmore.” The newest one had left the works as Andrew Jackson, but was

doing its best now, as “Simon Lathers Lord Rossmore, Present Earl.”

On one wall was a cheap old railroad map of Warwickshire. This had been

newly labeled “The Rossmore Estates.” On the opposite, wall was another

map, and this was the most imposing decoration of the establishment and

the first to catch a stranger’s attention, because of its great size.

It had once borne simply the title SIBERIA; but now the word “FUTURE” had

been written in front of that word. There were other additions, in red

ink–many cities, with great populations set down, scattered over the

vast-country at points where neither cities nor populations exist to-day.

One of these cities, with population placed at 1,500,000, bore the name

“Libertyorloffskoizalinski,” and there was a still more populous one,

centrally located and marked “Capital,” which bore the name

“Freedomolovnaivanovich.”

The “mansion”–the Colonel’s usual name for the house–was a rickety old

two-story frame of considerable size, which had been painted, some time

or other, but had nearly forgotten it. It was away out in the ragged

edge of Washington and had once been somebody’s country place. It had a

neglected yard around it, with a paling fence that needed straightening

up, in places, and a gate that would stay shut. By the door-post were

several modest tin signs. “Col. Mulberry Sellers, Attorney at Law and

Claim Agent,” was the principal one. One learned from the others that

the Colonel was a Materializer, a Hypnotizer, a Mind-Cure dabbler; and so

on. For he was a man who could always find things to do.

A white-headed negro man, with spectacles and damaged white cotton gloves

appeared in the presence, made a stately obeisance and announced:

“Marse Washington Hawkins, suh.”

“Great Scott! Show him in, Dan’l, show him in.”

The Colonel and his wife were on their feet in a moment, and the next

moment were joyfully wringing the hands of a stoutish, discouraged-

looking man whose general aspect suggested that he was fifty years old,

but whose hair swore to a hundred.

“Well, well, well, Washington, my boy, it is good to look at you again.

Sit down, sit down, and make yourself at home. There, now–why, you look

perfectly natural; aging a little, just a little, but you’d have known

him anywhere, wouldn’t you, Polly?”

“Oh, yes, Berry, he’s just like his pa would have looked if ,he’d lived.

Dear, dear, where have you dropped from? Let me see, how long is it

since–”

I should say it’s all of fifteen` years, Mrs. Sellers.”

“Well, well, how time does get away with us. Yes, and oh, the changes

that–”

There was a sudden catch of her voice and a trembling of the lip, the men

waiting reverently for her to, get command of herself and go on; but

after a little struggle she turned away, with her apron to her eyes, and

softly disappeared..

“Seeing you made her think of the children, poor thing–dear, dear,

they’re all dead but the youngest.

But banish care, it’s no time for it now–on with the dance, let joy be

unconfined is my motto, whether there’s any dance to dance; or any joy to

unconfine–you’ll be the healthier for it every time,–every time,

Washington–it’s my experience, and I’ve seen a good deal of this world.

Come–where have you disappeared to all these years, and are you from

there, now, or where are you from?”

“I don’t quite think you would ever guess, Colonel. Cherokee Strip.”

“My land!”

“Sure as you live.”

“You can’t mean it. Actually living out there?”

“Well, yes, if a body may call it that; though it’s a pretty strong term

for ‘dobies and jackass rabbits, boiled beans and slap-jacks, depression,

withered hopes, poverty in all its varieties–”

“Louise out there?”

“Yes, and the children.”

“Out there now?”

“Yes, I couldn’t afford to bring them with me.”

“Oh, I see,–you had to come–claim against the government. Make

yourself perfectly easy–I’ll take care of that.”

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Categories: Twain, Mark
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