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The American Claimant by Mark Twain

talk of death and funerals.”

“No-not yet. That would be giving up the ship. We’ll not give up the

ship yet. I’m going to amuse you; I sent Brady out for the wherewithal

before you finished breakfast.”

“You did? What is it?”

“Come, this is a good sign-curiosity. Oh, there’s’ hope for you yet.”

CHAPTER XVI.

Brady arrived with a box, and departed, after saying” They’re finishing

one up, but they’ll be along as soon as it’s done.”

Barrow took a frameless oil portrait a foot square from the box, set it

up in a good light, without comment, and reached for another, taking a

furtive glance at Tracy, meantime. The stony solemnity in Tracy’s face

remained as it was, and gave out no sign of interest. Barrow placed the

second portrait beside the first, and stole another glance while reaching

for a third. The stone image softened, a shade. No. 3 forced the ghost

of a smile, No. 4 swept indifference wholly away, and No. 5 started a

laugh which was still in good and hearty condition when No. 14 took its

place in the row.

“Oh, you’re all right, yet,” said Barrow. “You see you’re not past

amusement.”

The pictures were fearful, as to color, and atrocious as to drawing and

expression; but the feature which squelched animosity and made them funny

was a feature which could not achieve its full force in a single picture,

but required the wonder-working assistance of repetition. One loudly

dressed mechanic in stately attitude, with his hand on a cannon, ashore,

and a ship riding at anchor in the offing,–this is merely odd; but when

one sees the same cannon and the same ship in fourteen pictures in a row,

and a different mechanic standing watch in each, the thing gets to be

funny.

“Explain–explain these aberrations,” said Tracy.

“Well, they are not the achievement of a single intellect, a single

talent–it takes two to do these miracles. They are collaborations;

the one artist does the figure, the other the accessories. The figure-

artist is a German shoemaker with an untaught passion for art, the other

is a simple hearted old Yankee sailor-man whose possibilities are

strictly limited to his ship, his cannon and his patch of petrified sea.

They work these things up from twenty-five-cent tintypes; they get six

dollars apiece for them, and they can grind out a couple a day when they

strike what they call a boost–that is, an inspiration.”

“People actually pay money for these calumnies?”

“They actually do–and quite willingly, too. And these abortionists

could double their trade and work the women in, if Capt. Saltmarsh could

whirl a horse in, or a piano, or a guitar, in place of his cannon. The

fact is, he fatigues the market with that cannon. Even the male market,

I mean. These fourteen in the procession are not all satisfied. One is

an old “independent” fireman, and he wants an engine in place of the

cannon; another is a mate of a tug, and wants a tug in place of the ship

–and so on, and so on. But the captain can’t make a tug that is

deceptive, and a fire engine is many flights beyond his power.”

“This is a most extraordinary form of robbery, I never have heard of

anything like it. It’s interesting.”

“Yes, and so are the artists. They are perfectly honest men, and

sincere. And the old sailor-man is full of sound religion, and is as

devoted a student of the Bible and misquoter of it as you can find

anywhere. I don’t know a better man or kinder hearted old soul than

Saltmarsh, although he does swear a little, sometimes.”

“He seems to be perfect. I want to know him, Barrow.”

“You’ll have the chance. I guess I hear them coming, now. We’ll draw

them out on their art, if you like.”

The artists arrived and shook hands with great heartiness. The German

was forty and a little fleshy, with a shiny bald head and a kindly face

and deferential manner. Capt. Saltmarsh was sixty, tall, erect,

powerfully built, with coal-black hair and whiskers, and he had a well

tanned complexion, and a gait and countenance that were full of command,

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Categories: Twain, Mark
curiosity: