The Fun House. By: Dean R. Koontz

the end of the year,” Amy said. “It’s going to be a long, long time

before I’m even ready to go on a nice, quiet, no-sex date. I’ve sworn

off men for a while.” “Bullshit,” Liz said.

“It’s true.” “You haue been a stick-in-the-mud so far this summer,”

Liz said.

aBut that’ll pass.” “No. I mean it.” “Last week you went to the

doctor I recommended,” Liz said smugly.

“sO?” “sO you got a prescription for the pill. Would you get a

prescription for the pill if you really intended to be a wallflower?”

“You talked me into that,” Amy said.

“For your own good.” “I wish I hadn’t gone to that doctor. I won’t be

needing the pill or anything else until I’m out of college. I’m going

to sit back, with my knees together, and be virginal.” aLike hell you

are,” Liz said. “Two weeks from now, you’ll be flat on your back,

pinned under one stud or another. Two weeks at most. I know it. I

know you backwards and forwards, up and down, inside and out. You know

how it is that I’m able to read you so clearly? It’s because you’re

exactly like me.

We’re two of a kind. Peas in a pod. Oh, not on the surface,

necessarily. But deep down, deep in your heart where it counts, you’re

exactly like me, honey.

That’s why we’d be great together in Vegas. We’d have a ball.”

Richie Atterbury walked up to the table. He was a tall, thin boy, not

handsome but not unattractive, either. He had thick, dark hair, and he

wore horn-rimmed glasses that made him look a little bit like Clark

Kent. “Hi, Liz. Hi, Amy.”

Amy said, “Hello, Richie. That’s a pretty shirt you’re wearing.” “You

really think so?” he asked.

aYes. I like it a lot.”

“Thanks,” Richie said awkwardly. He looked at Liz with his big,

lovesick, puppy eyes, and he said, “Ready for the movie?”

Can’t wait,” Liz said. She stood up. To Amy, she said, “We’re going

to the drive-in. That’s really fitting, too.” She grinned wickedly.

“Because Richie sure knows how to drive it in.” Richie blushed.

Liz laughed and said, “The only way I’m going to see much of this movie

is if we set up a series of mirrors to reflect it onto the ceiling of

the car.”

“Liz, you’re terrible,” Amy said.

“Do you think I’m terrible?” Liz asked Richie.

“I think you’re terrific,” Richie said, daring to put an arm around her

waist.

He still seemed somewhat bashful, even if Liz had made him more than

passingly familiar with sex and drugs.

Liz looked at Amy. “See? He thinks I’m terrific, and he was the class

genius, so what do you know about it?” Amy smiled in spite of

herself.

“Listen,” Liz said, “when you’re ready to start living again, when

you’re sick and tired of playing Sister Purity, give me a call. I’ll

line someone up for you. We’ll double-date.” Amy watched Liz and

Richie as they walked outside and got into the yellow Celica. Liz

drove. She pulled away from the curb with a torturous squeal of tires

that made everyone in The Dive look toward the front windows.

After Amy left The Dive at twenty minutes till seven, she didn’t go

straight home. She walked aimlessly for more than an hour, not really

window-shopping in the stores she passed, not really noticing the

houses she passed, not really enjoying the clean spring evening, just

walking and thinking about the future.

When she got home at eight o’clock, her father was in his workshop.

Her mother was sitting at the kit,chen table, leafing through a

magazine, listening to a radio call-in program, and sucking on vodka

and orange juice.

“If you didn’t have dinner at work,” Mama said, “there’s some cold

roast beef in the refrigerator.” “Thank you,” Amy said, abut I’m not

hungry. I ate a big lunch.” 1-15

: “Suit yourself,” Mama said. She turned up the volume on the radio.

Amy interpreted that as a sign of dismissal. She went upstairs.

She spent an hour with Joey, playing fivehundred rummy, his favorite

card game. The boy didn’t seem himself. He hadn’t been the old,

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