high, or are you really wired?”
“I’m totally wasted,” Amy said, squinting into the mirror, applying
lipstick with a shaky hand.
“Good,” Liz said. “I’m glad you’re really wrecked. Maybe you’ll
finally loosen up.” “I’m loose as a goose,” Amy said.
“Great,” Liz said. “Then I won’t have to sell you on it.” “Sell me on
what?”
The orgy,” Liz said.
Amy looked at her, and Liz grinned almost drunkenly, and Amy said,
“Orgy?” – “I’ve already sold the idea to those two pussyhounds out
there,” Liz said.
aBuzz and Richie?”
“They’re both game.”
“You mean . . . the four of us in one bed?”
E . “Sure,” Liz said, putting away her own lipstick, , snapping her
purse shut.
“It’ll be fantastic!” “Oh, Liz, I don’t know about that. I don’t–”
“Let it slide, kid.”
“I’ve got college and_n “You’ve got the pill. You won’t get knocked up
again. Don’t be so damned prim.
Go with the flow, kid. Be what you are. Stop pretending you’re Sister
Purity.” “I couldn’t–” “Of course you could,” Liz said. “You will.
You want it. You’re just like me.
Face facts and enjoy yourself.”
Amy put one hand on the sink to steady herself. It wasn’t just the
dope that made her feel woozy.
‘ She was dizzied by the prospect of just letting go, being like Liz,
forgetting about the future, living just for the moment, incapable of
guilt or remorse. It must be nice to live that way. It must be so
relaxing, so free.
Liz moved close to her and said, “My place. As soon as we leave the
fairgrounds. The four of us. My parents have a king-size bed. Think
of it, honey. You can have both those guys at the same time. They’re
both dying to slip the old salami to you.
It’ll be great. You’ll have a ball. I know you will because I’ll have
a ball, and you’re just like me.” Liz’s melodic, rhythmic voice was
draining all the energy and all the will out of Amy. Amy leaned
against the sink and closed her eyes and felt that warm, seductive
voice pulling her down, down into a place she wasn’t sure she wanted to
go.
Then Amy felt a hand on her breast. She opened her eyes with a
start.
Liz was touching her intimately, smiling.
Amy wanted to push the other girl’s lewd hand away, but she couldn’t
find sufficient strength to present Liz with even that small token of
resistance.
“I’ve always wondered what it would be like, you and me, just us two
girls,” Liz said.
“You’re wasted,” Amy said. “You’re so high you don’t know what you’re
saying.” “I know exactly what I’m saying, kid. I’ve always wondered
.
. .
and tonight I can find out. We can make some real memories, kid.” She
leaned close, kissed Amy lightly on the mouth, tongue flicking like the
quick tongue of a snake, and then she left the restroom, twitching her
bottom as she went.
Amy felt dirty, but she also experienced a tremor of pleasure that
oscillated through every inch of her.
She looked in the mirror again, squinting because the bright
fluorescent lights stung her bleary eyes. Her face looked soft, as if
it were melting off her bones. Searching once more for that wickedness
that others could see in her, she stared into her own eyes. All of
Amy’s life, her mother had told her that she was filled with a terrible
evil that must be repressed at all costs.
After years and years of listening to that hateful line, Amy didn’t
like herself very much. Her self-respect had been whittled down to a
fragile stick, Mama had wielded the whittling knife. Now Amy thought
she finally could see a hint of the evil that Mama and Liz saw in her,
it was a peculiar shadow, a writhing darkness deep in her eyes.
No! she thought desperately, frightened by the speed with which her
resolution was dissolving. I’m not that kind of person. I have plans,
ambitions, dreams.
I want to paint beautiful pictures and bring happiness to people.
But she could vividly recall the thrill that had snapped through her