The Fun House. By: Dean R. Koontz

on a midway. So that left only twelve bucks that he could spare for a

bribe.

Would that be enough?

He decided to ask his father for two dollars to go to the Sunday

matinee at the Rialto theater. But he wouldn’t actually spend the

money on the movies. He would go over to Tommy Culp’s house and play

tomorrow afternoon, pretend that he’d seen the movies when his father

asked about them, and add the two bucks to his escape fund.

He returned the bank to the desk.

When he said his prayers before going to bed, he asked God to please

keep Mama from getting pissed and coming into his room again.

The next day, Sunday, Amy called Liz.

“Hello,” Liz said.

“This is Sister Purity,” Amy said.

“Oh, hello, Sister.” “I’ve decided to leave the nunnery.”

“Hallelujah!”

“It’s cold and drafty here in the nunnery.” “Not to mention boring,”

Liz said.

‘7What have you got for me that I won’t find boring” “How about Buzz

Klemmet?”

“I don’t know him,” Amy said.

“He’s eighteen, soon nineteen I think. He was in the class ahead of

ours–” “Ah, an older man!” “Bbut he dropped out of school in eleventh

grade. He works at the Arco station on the corner of Main and

Broadway.” “You sure know how to pick them,” Amy said sarcastically.

“He may not sound like much,” Liz said, abut wait till you see him.

He’s a hunk.”

“A hunk of what?” “Pretty muscle.” “Can he speak?” “Just well enough.”

“Can he tie his own shoelaces?” “I’m not sure,” Liz said. “But he

usually wears loafers, so you won’t have to worry about that.” “I hope

you know what you’re doing.” “Trust me,” Liz said. “You’ll love

him.

What night should I set it up for?” “Doesn’t matter,” Amy said. “I

work days.”

“Tomorrow night?” “Fine.” “We’ll double,” Liz said. “Me and Richie,

you and Buzz.” “Where do you want to go?” “How about my place? We’ll

play some records, watch a movie on my folks’ videocassette machine,

roll a few joints. I got some bitchin’ grass that’ll mellow us out

real fast.”

‘7What about your parents?” Amy asked.

“They’re leaving on a two-week vacation today. New Orleans. I’ll have

the house all to myself.”

“They trust you alone there for two weeks?” “They trust me not to burn

the place to the ground,” Liz said.

“And that’s really all they care about. Listen, kid, I’m glad you

finally came to your senses. I was afraid the summer was going to be a

bummer. We’ll sure raise hell now that you’re back in the swing of

things.” “I’m not sure I want to get back in the swing of things, at

least not all the way, if you know what I mean. I want to have some

fun. I want to date. But I don’t think I’m going to screw around

anymore. Not until college is behind me.” “Sure, sure,” Liz said.

“I mean it.” “Take it at your own pace, honey. Anyway, we’ll sure have

some fun with my old man and old lady out of town.” “And the county

fair is next week,” Amy said.

“Hey, yeah! I really get off on smoking some good dope and then

hopping on those thrill rides.” “I suspect you would.” “And did you

ever get high and then go through the funhouse, with all those fake

monsters jumping out at you?”

“Never did,” Amy said.

“It’s hilarious.”

“I’ll look forward to it,” Amy said.

JANET MIDDLEMEIR WAS a safety engineer for the I county. Her job was

to make certain that all public buildings–courthouses, firehouses,

libraries, schools, sheriff’s substations, government-subsidized sports

arenas and stadiums, and so forth– were at all times clean, well

lighted, and safe for both visitors and workers. She was responsible

for the inspection of the structural integrity of those buildings as

well as for the condition and suitability of all machinery and all

major nonmechanical equipment within their walls. Janet was young,

only a few years out of college, only two years on the job, and she was

still as dedicated to her work as she had been when she had first

started, her duties seemed almost holy to her, and the words “public

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