Freddie recovered the eye-glass which the raising of his eyebrows had caused to fall, and polished it in a crushed sort of way. Rummy, he reflected, how chappies stayed the same all their lives as they were when they were kids. Nasty, tough sort of chap Wally Mason had been as a boy, and here he was, apparently, not altered a bit. At least, the only improvement he could detect was that, whereas in the old days Wally, when in an ugly mood like this, would undoubtedly have kicked him, he now seemed content with mere words. All the same, he was being dashed unpleasant. And he was all wrong about poor old Derek. This last fact he endeavored to make clear.
“You don’t understand,” he said. “You don’t realize. You’ve never met Lady Underhill, have you?”
“What has she got to do with it?”
“Everything, old bean, everything. If it hadn’t been for her, there wouldn’t have been any trouble of any description, sort, or order. But she barged in and savaged poor old Derek till she absolutely made him break off the engagement.”
“If you call him ‘poor old Derek’ again, Freddie,” said Wally viciously, “I’ll drop you out of the window and throw your hat after you! If he’s such a gelatine-backboned worm that his mother can —”
“You don’t know her, old thing! She’s the original hellhound!”
“I don’t care what —”
“Must be seen to be believed,” mumbled Freddie.
“I don’t care what she’s like! Any man who could —”
“Once seen, never forgotten!”
“Damn you! Don’t interrupt every time I try to get a word in!”
“Sorry, old man! Shan’t occur again!”
Wally moved to the window, and stood looking out. He had had much more to say on the subject of Derek Underhill, but Freddie’s interruptions had put it out of his head, and he felt irritated and baffled.
“Well, all I can say is,” he remarked savagely, “that, if you have come over here as an ambassador to try and effect a reconciliation between Jill and Underhill, I hope to God you’ll never find her.”
Freddie emitted a weak cough, like a very far-off asthmatic old sheep. He was finding Wally more overpowering every moment. He had rather forgotten the dear old days of his childhood, but this conversation was beginning to refresh his memory: and he was realizing more vividly with every moment that passed how very Wallyish Wally was,—how extraordinarily like the Wally who had dominated his growing intellect when they were both in Eton suits. Freddie in those days had been all for peace, and he was all for peace now. He made his next observation diffidently.
“I have found her!”
Wally spun round.
“What!”
“When I say that, I don’t absolutely mean. I’ve seen her. I mean I know where she is. That’s what I came round to see you about. Felt I must talk it over, you know. The situation seems to me dashed rotten and not a little thick. The fact is, old man, she’s gone on the stage. In the chorus, you know. And, I mean to say, well, if you follow what I’m driving at, what, what?”
“In the chorus!”
“In the chorus!”
“How do you know?”
Freddie groped for his eye-glass, which had fallen again.
He regarded it a trifle sternly. He was fond of the little chap, but it was always doing that sort of thing. The whole trouble was that, if you wanted to keep it in its place, you simply couldn’t register any sort of emotion with the good old features: and, when you were chatting with a fellow like Wally Mason, you had to be registering something all the time.
“Well, that was a bit of luck, as a matter of fact. When I first got here, you know, it seemed to me the only thing to do was to round up a merry old detective and put the matter in his hands, like they do in stories. You know! Ring at the bell. ‘And this, if I mistake not, Watson, is my client now.’ And then in breezes client and spills the plot. I found a sleuth in the classified telephone directory, and toddled round. Rummy chaps, detectives! Ever met any? I always thought they were lean, hatchet-faced Johnnies with inscrutable smiles. This one looked just like my old Uncle Ted, the one who died of apoplexy. Jovial, puffy-faced bird, who kept bobbing up behind a fat cigar. Have you ever noticed what whacking big cigars these fellows over here smoke? Rummy country, America. You ought to have seen the way this blighter could shift his cigar right across his face without moving his jaw-muscles. Like a flash! Most remarkable thing you ever saw, I give you my honest word! He —”