previous times.
It was now a very great honour to be in the parliament or in office;
under the old system such distinction had only brought suspicion upon a
man and made him a helpless mark for newspaper contempt and scurrility.
Officials did not need to steal now, their salaries being vast in
comparison with the pittances paid in the days when parliaments were
created by hod-carriers, who viewed official salaries from a hod-carrying
point of view and compelled that view to be respected by their obsequious
servants. Justice was wisely and rigidly administered; for a judge,
after once reaching his place through the specified line of promotions,
was a permanency during good behaviour. He was not obliged to modify his
judgments according to the effect they might have upon the temper of a
reigning political party.
The country was mainly governed by a ministry which went out with the
administration that created it. This was also the case with the chiefs
of the great departments. Minor officials ascended to their several
positions through well-earned promotions, and not by a jump from gin-
mills or the needy families and friends of members of parliament. Good
behaviour measured their terms of office.
The head of the governments the Grand Caliph, was elected for a term of
twenty years. I questioned the wisdom of this. I was answered that he
could do no harm, since the ministry and the parliament governed the
land, and he was liable to impeachment for misconduct. This great office
had twice been ably filled by women, women as aptly fitted for it as some
of the sceptred queens of history. Members of the cabinet, under many
administrations, had been women.
I found that the pardoning power was lodged in a court of pardons,
consisting of several great judges. Under the old regime, this important
power was vested in a single official, and he usually took care to have a
general jail delivery in time for the next election.
I inquired about public schools. There were plenty of them, and of free
colleges too. I inquired about compulsory education. This was received
with a smile, and the remark:
“When a man’s child is able to make himself powerful and honoured
according to the amount of education he acquires, don’t you suppose that
that parent will apply the compulsion himself? Our free schools and free
colleges require no law to fill them.”
There was a loving pride of country about this person’s way of speaking
which annoyed me. I had long been unused to the sound of it in my own.
The Gondour national airs were forever dinning in my ears; therefore I
was glad to leave that country and come back to my dear native land,
where one never hears that sort of music.
A MEMORY,
When I say that I never knew my austere father to be enamoured of but one
poem in all the long half century that he lived, persons who knew him
will easily believe me; when I say that I have never composed but one
poem in all the long third of a century that I have lived, persons who
know me will be sincerely grateful; and finally, when I say that the poem
which I composed was not the one which my father was enamoured of,
persons who may have known us both will not need to have this truth shot
into them with a mountain howitzer before they can receive it. My father
and I were always on the most distant terms when I was a boy–a sort of
armed neutrality so to speak. At irregular intervals this neutrality was
broken, and suffering ensued; but I will be candid enough to say that the
breaking and the suffering were always divided up with, strict
impartiality between us–which is to say, my father did the breaking, and
I did the suffering. As a general thing I was a backward, cautious,
unadventurous boy; but I once jumped off a two-story table; another time
I gave an elephant a “plug” of tobacco and retired without waiting for an
answer; and still another time I pretended to be talking in my sleep, and
got off a portion of a very wretched original conundrum in the hearing of