Heinlein, Robert A – Expanded Universe

appear “accidentally” in a background but if you are suspected of this, they have a

silent counter to it. At some later time you will find that your film has been

exposed to light, then respooled. You could keep all your film with you at all times

and hope to get it across the border. . . but such behavior might cause you to be

arrested on suspicion of espionage, as one American tourist was this summer. At

best, sneaking a picture of one passed-out drunk risks losing all your pictures-too

high a price even if you aren’t accused of being a spy.

The most-used plane, the Ilyushin-14, flies very low; you can see a lot and

compare it with elsewhere. Are railroads single or double track? How much traffic on

the roads? On the rivers? How about factory smokestacks and other signs of industry?

How busy are the airfields? Or a dozen other things. I think you will conclude that

no Russian claim should be accepted as true until fully verified. A “great

industrial center” often turns out to be a jerkwater town.

But don’t make written notes about such things! Don’t!!!

Will your mail be opened? You must assume so. Will your rooms be bugged? It

seems impossible to monitor every room of every Intourist hotel-but if the police

get interested in you it takes just three minutes in these days of miniaturization

to bug a room. I do

know, from several incidents, that Soviet citizens believe that all hotel rooms are

bugged.

I wish that a million of us would visit the USSR; the dollars the Kremlin

would reap would be more than offset by the profit to us in having so many free men

see with their own eyes what Communism is.

But go there with your eyes open-Intourist is as fully an agency of the

Kremlin as is Gromyko or Mikoyan. Its functions are (1) to get your money in

advance, (2) to deliver as little as possible by downgrading accomodations, by

forced overcharges on food, and by clipping you on auto and guide service, (3) to

waste your time so that you wiil see as little as possible, and (4) to see that what

little time you have left is spent only on those things the Kremlin does not mind

your seeing-“new construction” (from the outside), parks of “rest & culture” (filled

with loudspeakers blaring propaganda), ballets, museums, stadiums, and the outsides

of public buildings.

The first point you must accept; the game is crooked but it is the only game

in town. Points two and three you can struggle against-I hope the tactics suggested

in here will help. Point four is the toughest. After trimming you down to about

three hours a day of useful time, Intourist can and will use up what is left in

“stadium sightseeing” unless you fight it constantly. Even then, Intourist is adept

in parrying with: “It’s closed today-too bad you’re not staying another day,” and

“That must be arranged in advance through the Ministry of Culture, etc.” and “You

should have requested that in Moscow.”

The essence of Intourist tactics is: “Jam yesterday and jam tomorrow, but

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never jam today.” The way to answer it is: “No! I will not look at the stadium, I do

not want to see another subway station, I will not visit a museum to see another

five hundred pictures of Lenin. I want to see thus-and-so and I want to see it now.

Stop the car, get on the phone, and arrange it- or tell the Director that, as far as

I am concerned,

you’re fired! I am keeping the car and the driver and will go on without you- I’ve

got hours more of car service due me today and I won’t be cheated out of it.”

You will find whether your guide is truly a guide… or a guard placed with

you to make sure you see only the facade of this regime. Whether or not you see

“thus-and-so” you are sure to learn a surprising amount about how a police state is

run. . . and thereby get your full money’s worth in education.

AFTERWORD

After twenty years it would seem logical for me to return to the USSR to see