Heinlein, Robert A – Expanded Universe

anything but an election poster. Didn’t anybody ever tell you that?”

“You may leave now. You’re excused.”

“Oh, I’m leaving; I’ve got a press conference in ten minutes. Just one

thing: You said Joe probably disliked taking orders from you because you’ve had no

military experience. Nonsense. Any top brass expects to take orders from a civilian.

But no real man will take orders from a nigger, much less a nigger wench.”

The Marine was out of his chair so fast that it overturned, snatched the

ex-Secretary out of his chair and got a hammerlock on him-but beat the others to it

only by being closest.

“Down on your knees and apologize, you jerk! That’s the President of the

United States you’re talking to!” The Marine General’s Deep South accent, ordinarily

carefully corrected, came out in full force, thick as gumbo.

“Make him take his hands off me!”

“Keep him secure, General. And thank you, sir. But don’t rough him up more

than necessary. Admiral, if you will be so kind as to check, I think you will find

two Marines and two Secret Service men just outside that door. Please ask one of

them to telephone for two White House Police. I want this person removed from the

building and not allowed back in. Nor back into the Pentagon, ever. Most especially

not into his former office.”

“A pleasure, Ma’am!”

“Thank you, sir. I hope to see you all here at the same time a week from

Thursday. General Smith, I ask you to remain chairman pro tern, in addition to your

regular duties. Adjourn when it suits you. I’m withdrawing now; I want to lie down.

I find that I am a bit shaky….”

CND 4,O6CRH

CHEYENNE-LEGISLATURE BOTH HOUSES PASSED OVERWHELMINGLY FIRST AND SECOND READING

EMERGENCY MEASURE RESTORING PAUPERS OATH FOR RECIPIENTS OF ANY PUBLIC

ASSISTANCE OF ANY SORT REPEAT ANY SORT IN RESPONSE TO

GOVERNOR’S IMPASSIONED CLAIM THAT THERE WOULD BE NO

MONEY FOR THE BLIND AND THE TOTALLY HELPLESS UNLESS

STATE RETURNED TO NINETEENTH CENTURY TEST OF ELIGIBILITY MORE MORE

CND4,Ø9CRH

CHEYENNE-AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION WILL FILE

CLASS ACTION IN FEDERAL COURT TO STOP RESTORATION OF

PAUPERS OATH AS PREREQUISITE FOR PUBLIC ASSISTANCE.

“Come in, Senator! Thank you for doing me this favor!’

“Madam President, it would be a pleasure to call on you at any time even if

you were nOt President. Perhaps more.”

“Uncle Sam, I don’t know what that means but I like it. Now to work! Would

it suit you to work for me?”

“You know it would, my dear-but I have a cohstituency.”

“I don’t mean resign and take a job here. But can’t you pair votes, or

something? I need a lot of help from you right now and more later.”

“Anything the President wants, the President gets. Yes, I can always arrange

a pair. . – even when I’m only nominally out of the District.” He looked down at

her. “Trouble?”

“Work I don’t know how to handle. I’ve got to appoint twenty-three judges

and I can’t put it off much longer. And I don’t know how to tell a knucklehead from

an Oliver Wendell Holmes. See that tall stack? And that one? Those are the written

opinions-or other legal writings if they are not already judges- from the candidates

for judgeships. No names on them, and other identifications blacked out. Just

identification numbers. I thought I could read this mess and tell which ones had

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their heads screwed on tight. I can’t. I don’t understand legalese, I’m not a

lawyer.”

“I’m not a lawyer either, bright eyes.’~

“No, but you’re the world’s leading semanticist. I figured that, if you

couldn’t understand something, then it was really nonsense.”

“It’s a good approach. If a person of normal intelligence, and a reasonably

full education, cannot understand a piece of prose, then it is gibberish. But you

shouldn’t be doing it; you have a country to worry about. I don’t have time, either,

but I’ll take time; my staff are quite competent to wipe the noses and hold the

hands of my constituents for a while. I’ll arrange it.”

“Then you’ll do it! Uncle Sam, you’re a dear!”

“But I want a bribe.”