Hit or Myth by Robert Asprin

With light heart and heavy purse, I entered my quarters.

Remember the last time I entered my quarters? How there was a demon waiting for me? Well, it happened again.

Now don’t get me wrong. This isn’t a regular occurrence in my day-to-day existence. One demon showing up unannounced is a rarity. Two demons . . . well, no matter how you looked at it, this was going to be a red-letter day in my diary.

Does it seem to you I’m stalling? I am. You see, this demon I knew, and her name was Massha!

“Well hel-lo, high roller! I was just in the neighborhood and thought I’d stop by and say ‘Hi!’ “

She started forward to give me a hug, and I hastily moved to put something immobile between us. A ‘hi!’ and a hug might not sound like a threat to you. If not, you don’t know Massha!

I have nothing against hello hugs. I have another demon friend named Tananda (yes, I have a lot of demon friends these days) whose hello hugs are high points in my existence. Tananda is cute, curvaceous, and cuddly. Okay, so she’s also an assassin, but her hello hugs can get a rise out of a statue.

Massha, on the other hand, is not cute and cuddly. Massha is immense . . . and then some. I didn’t doubt the sincere goodwill behind her greeting. I was just afraid that if she hugged me, it would take days to find my way out again … and I had a getaway to plan.

“Um … Hi, Massha. Good to see you … all of you.”

The last time I had seen Massha, she was disguised as a gaudy circus tent, except it wasn’t a disguise. It was actually the way she dressed. This time, though, she had apparently kicked out the jams … along with her entire wardrobe and any modicum of good taste. Okay, she wasn’t completely naked. She was wearing a leopardskin bikini, but she was showing enough flesh for four normal naked people. A bikini, her usual wheelbarrow full of jewelry, light green lipstick that clashed with her orange hair, and a tattoo on her bicep. That was Massha. Class all the way.