“I don’t know, ” Dr. Faux’s voice squeaked as Fonny Boy ran his tongue over his poor-fitting braces and a rubber band shot across the conference table.
“Your only address is a post office box, and your home and office phones are answered by a machine, ” Andy berated him. “And you’ve never allowed friends and family to take photographs of you, so the sheriff has no idea what you look like, and you were being held hostage on Tangier Island anyway, and no sheriff is going to try to find you on the Island, because the Islanders aren’t likely to cooperate with anyone in uniform, especially if he’s trying to serve a warrant. ”
“That’s your opinion, ” Dr. Faux said, and his real nature began to show itself. “You’ll have to prove everything you’re saying and what the reasons are. A lot of people use post office boxes and are shy about having their picture taken. I was not a hostage and there are no hostages. ”
“Listen, Doctor Faux, we need your help, ” Hammer said, playing the good cop. “The last thing anybody wants is another civil war. The Islanders are citizens of this Commonwealth just the same as you and I, and to fight us is to fight themselves. It’s like getting angry and shooting yourself in the leg. Any civil uproar on the Islanders’ part will only prove self-destructive, and it is the contention of the Coast Guard that when you fired the flare gun three times out in the bateau, you weren’t signaling distress but were making a blatant attempt to shoot down the helicopter. ”
“Say what?” Dr. Faux exclaimed.
“I’ll tell you what, ” Hammer replied, changing to the role of bad cop now. “When an island declares war on its own government and takes down the state flag and commits a kidnapping, what is anybody supposed to think when suddenly one of these Islanders starts firing at a law-enforcement aircraft? Not to mention, aircraft are part of what the Islanders are upset about because of VASCAR. ”
“Fonny Boy shot the flares, not me, and I’m not an Islander, ” Dr. Faux quickly pointed the finger. “I told him not to do it. And he’s the one who dropped the crab pot into the sanctuary, too, so he could find that pirate’s ship. ”
“Pirate’s ship?” Andy asked.
Fonny Boy tuned in at this and gave Dr. Faux a menacing look.
“You hadn’t orte do that! Doncha be talking about my picaroon ship!” Fonny Boy said in protest. “I knew you was not much count!”
“I count for quite a lot, ” the dentist said huffily. “And you didn’t find a ship. What happened, exactly, is a piece of old metal found you. ”
“What are you, a magnet?” Andy sarcastically said to Fonny Boy. “I think it’s about time someone told the damn truth around here. Let me see the piece of metal. ”
“Yass!” Fonny Boy talked backward, scraping his handcuffs over the tabletop and protectively moving his hands toward a pocket.
“Don’t make me pat you down for it!” Hammer helped Andy gang up on Fonny Boy.
“It’s mine!” Fonny Boy refused to cooperate. “It fell out from the sky and landed on my leg as I was playing the juice harp. ”
“Please, let me see the piece of metal, ” Andy said, switching to good cop and getting up from his chair. “I promise I’m not going to keep it unless it’s related to a crime or an accident investigation, okay?”
“That’s it!” Fonny Boy was adamant, clutching the right side of his windbreaker, and feeling an unexpected hard lump near the broken zipper.
Curious, Andy dug into the pocket, worked his fingers through a hole and discovered” the key to the clinic in the lining.
“Ha!” the dentist blurted out. “The key he took when he locked me inside the clinic after hitting me in the nose for no reason!”
“I thought you said you weren’t kidnapped. ” Hammer caught him in a lie.
“I’m an innocent victim, ” Dr. Faux said. “I demand to be released immediately and I fully intend to press charges! Those violent, untrustworthy people on the island held me against my will and probably are the ones who have framed me for fraud!”