The governor lit up a Cuban cigar. “Tell me,” he said to Andy. “If we could locate the crabs and trout, would that help us?”
“That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard,” Regina retorted. “What good would they do, and how would you know they’re the same ones we let go?”
“DNA,” Andy replied. “If they left any cellular material in the bucket, even just a trace, it could be matched back to them. For example, people don’t realize how many cells their eyes shed. You rub your eyes and have eye cells all over your fingers and then you touch something and deposit these cells. Every living creature has unique DNA, except identical twins.”
“So maybe the crabs’ eyes shed cells in the bucket?” The governor was fascinated. “How do you know all this?”
“I’ve always been interested in forensic science and criminal investigations, Governor. My father was a police officer in Charlotte.”
“What is he now?”
“He got killed in the line of duty, sir.”
This touched the governor deeply. He had always wanted a son and was not at all impressed with his daughters and rarely enjoyed their company. In truth, Bedford Crimm was starved for someone sensible and non-female to talk to, and he had forgotten that he was concerned that Andy and his wife might have an affair.
“Let’s pour a little brandy and smoke,” he said as he turned a magnified watery eye on Andy. “Do you play pool?”
“Not very often, sir,” Andy replied.
“But what about this awful man on the loose?” Mrs. Crimm worried.
“Tell one of the other troopers the story,” the governor ordered Andy to tell Trader. “Tell him to get the rest of the EPU on the case and let’s have the National Guard fly around, checking for that car with New York plates, and perhaps have a presence downtown, too.”
“You may want to consider having us set up checkpoints at the tollbooths, too,” Andy suggested. “In case this alleged Hispanic serial killer tries to leave the city,” he added with a hint of disdain as he stared Trader right in the eye. The press secretary glanced away.
“Excellent idea,” the governor agreed, increasingly impressed with this young man. “We need to locate the crabs and the trout. Tell Trader to start looking since he’s the one who saw them last.”
“Sir, you can tell him yourself,” Andy politely said. “He can hear, he just can’t talk or at least wants us to think he can’t. And I might suggest we have a more objective person look for any witnesses.”
Andy had no doubt that should Trader find the crabs and trout, he would make sure they were never seen again. The fat, mendacious pirate-press secretary would probably boil them alive and eat them, Andy thought with disgust as he anticipated the governor’s reaction when he read the essay he intended to post as soon as he could find a computer. He gave Trader a harsh, threatening look.
“Stay away from the crabs and trout,” Andy warned him.
He waited until Trader limped off before taking the First Lady aside for a private word with her.
“Listen,” Andy said. “I hate to impose on you or intrude upon your privacy in any way, First Lady Crimm, but it looks like it may be a long night and I’m wondering if I could borrow a computer for just a minute so I can check something.”
“Why certainly,” she replied, and she couldn’t wait to lead him upstairs to her private parlor where she spent many secret, delicious hours sitting at her antique Chinese desk, shopping the Internet.
She felt a tingle of salacious excitement as she led Andy up the stairs and sat him down in her chair.
“Do you need me to show you how anything works?” she asked, leaning over him and brushing her big, trussed-up bosom against the back of his head.
“No thank you,” Andy said as her perfume excited an allergic reaction and he began to sneeze. “If you can just leave me for a moment. I’m afraid this is classified police work and for my eyes only, ma’am.” He sneezed three more times.