“He’s not The Man! I am! Maybe we just kill everybody who shows up, including you,” Smoke cruelly taunted Popeye. “Lock that ugly dog back in your room
and send an e-mail to Captain Bonny and ask him when the hell we’re gonna make our move and use the damn dog to get the fuckers, ” he told Possum. “I’m tired of waiting!” he said to everyone. “Go get the car!” he ordered Cat.
Possum logged on to the Internet, clicked on FAVORITES and pulled up Captain Bonny’s egotistical, self-promoting, self-serving website, which featured a fierce woodcut of Blackbeard on the home page. Possum went to the How To Contact section and pecked out the following message, which was the opposite of what Smoke wanted:
Dear Captin Bonny
Us pirates ain’t ready to make the Big Move yet. I’ll let you know.
Yours truley, Pirate Possum.
Major Trader just happened to be eating a banana split in his spec-home office when the e-mail landed. He was becoming annoyed with Pirate Possum and whoever his felonious, crude mates were. Trader had faithfully leaked information to the pirates and kept them out of the news for many months and so far had gone unrewarded. He had better be taken care of appropriately just as soon as the pirates made their so-called Big Move, which Trader had assumed all along was a big move of cocaine, heroin, and guns across the Canadian border.
He typed out an e-mail.
Dear Pirate Possum,
It was good to hear from you as always. But let me remind you that when I orchestrated the dognap-ping of Popeye so you could set up an ambush of Superintendent Hammer, the deal was that I would be handsomely rewarded. I have been patient for months, and now my terms have changed! I am demanding not 50% but 60% of the booty, paid in cash and left in a waterproof suitcase at a location of my choosing. Let me remind you that if you don’t come through for me, I will be forced to use force.
Sincerely,
The Notorious Captain Bonny
Eleven
The black front door of Ruth’s Chris Steak House slowly opened, and Governor Crimm and the First Lady emerged from the former plantation house, pressed upon from all sides by serious EPU troopers in neat suits. The Crimms’ four daughters–all unmarried and over thirty–fell in behind their important parents and were sealed off from the rest of society by yet another wall of troopers at the rear of the procession. Macovich quickly tossed the cigarette and unfolded himself like a stretcher as he worked his way out of the car while Andy smoothed down his dark gray uniform, checking to make sure that his clip-on tie, pepper spray, handcuffs, tactical baton, extra magazines of ammunition, pistol, and whistle were in place. He realized it might not be a good idea to bring up Tangier Island or Hammer in front of so many sets of eyes and ears. Certainly, it would make Hammer look bad if her troops knew that the governor never returned her phone calls or met with her. And based on the way the governor was walking, Andy wasn’t confident that he was entirely sober.
“Look, it’s possible the governor might remember you or the daughter you upset might say something,” Andy said, falling in stride with Macovich as the distinguished party approached. “So I think it best I take him aside. I think he’s a bit drunk.”
Macovich had no intention of helping Andy have a private audience with the governor, especially if the governor had a buzz on and was happier and more generous than usual. The last thing Macovich needed was for Andy to end up the governor’s pet in addition to being Hammer’s pet. Macovich had been trying for years to gain special status and even affection from the governor, all to no avail, and the pool incident certainly hadn’t helped matters.
“Wooo, I wouldn’t try it,” Macovich tried to discourage Andy.” ‘Specially if he’s drunk. He’s one mean man when he’s drunk.”
Macovich felt a little guilty about lying and stepping on Andy, but Macovich couldn’t help himself. He feared he had leveled out on his professional climb to success, and if he wasn’t shrewd and territorial, he would find himself working security in a shopping mall one of these days or maybe flying grumpy racist businessmen around for a helicopter charter service. But to Macovich’s surprise and annoyance, Andy completely ignored Macovich and walked right up to the governor and shook his hand.