DNA recovered or if the analysis of it wasn’t helpful. So why shouldn’t the governor start scaring people, too? He was weary of being nice. What good did it do?
“We have all these new helicopters,” he told his press secretary. “Let’s scare the hell out of people with them.”
“What? You want helicopters to find speeders and buzz them?” Trader didn’t like the idea in the least, especially since he hadn’t thought of it first.
“No, no. But I see no reason why we can’t use them to check speeding from the air, pretend they’ve got fancy computers to do that, then the pilots radio troopers on the ground to go after the bastards.” The governor’s intestines were crawling again, as if they had some place to go in a hurry. “All we’ve got to do is post warning signs on the roads out there, and people will be scared into believing they’ll be arrested, even if there isn’t a helicopter or trooper within ten miles.”
“I see. A bluff.”
“Of course. Now, you go to work on that right away.” The governor needed to end the discussion instantly. “Get back with me on the proposal and we’ll issue a press release before the day is out.”
“Using aviation to catch speeders is not a good idea,” Trader warned him. “It’s going to hurt your rating in the polls and create an explosive situation .. .”
Governor Crimm’s gut was already creating an explosive situation, and he shot up from his leather chair as he ordered Trader out. Moments later, as Crimm sat behind a closed door with the fan going, he wondered who Trooper Truth really was and if there might be a way to influence what he posted on the Internet. How helpful it would be if the governor could get a thoughtful, philosophical person to disseminate Crimm’s ideas and beliefs. Crimm reached for the portable phone on the shelf near the toilet paper.
“Who’s this?” Crimm asked when a man answered.
“Trooper Macovich,” came the hesitant reply from the Executive Protection Unit’s outpost in the basement of the executive mansion.
Thorlo Macovich recognized the governor’s voice immediately and hoped the governor didn’t recognize his. Or maybe if he was lucky, the governor had already forgotten the incident that had occurred in the mansion’s billiards room the other night. It was also possible the governor hadn’t seen it, because he couldn’t see much of anything these days. But that youngest Crimm daughter would remember Macovich, all right. He had never seen anyone pitch such a fit over losing a game of pool-yelling obscenities and ordering Macovich to stay in the basement and never come upstairs again, which was seriously interfering with his duties.
“Trooper Truth . . .” Crimm started to say as a cramp doubled him over.
“You all right, sir?” Macovich was surprised and alarmed. “Woo, what’s that noise?”
“You got any idea who this Trooper Truth person is?” The governor could barely talk.
“No, sir. But everybody’s sure talking about him. What’s that? Sounds like somebody ripping bubble wrap. You sure you’re all right, sir? Wooo, it sounds like somebody’s shooting a gun in the Capitol! It ain’t safe! I’ll be right there . ..!”
“No! Don’t come here,” the governor blurted out as gasses pushed against his organs, struggling to escape.
“Find out who Trooper Truth . . . who he is. Make that your mission, you hear me? And tell the kitchen staff I want a light supper tonight. For God’s sake, no apples or ham. Maybe seafood.”
“From Virginia, I guess, sir.” Macovich was relieved. Clearly, the governor didn’t remember him.
“As long as it’s not shad roe.”
“Don’t believe they catch shad roe this time of year. I can fly a state helicopter to Tangier Island and pick up fresh blue crabs, if that would please you, sir,” Macovich added with reluctance because he hated going to Tangier Island. “And maybe trout.”
“That’s it!” the governor said, startled both by an idea and what sounded to Macovich like a deflating hot air balloon. “We’ll start with Tangier Island! You troopers can put the first speed trap over there. Did you know they used to welcome Blackbeard on that island? Bunch of pirates, that’s what they are. Well, I’ll show them.”