No one thus far has been able to give me a definitive explanation for why the settlers and the Naturals had such an inconsistent relationship, but I suspect the answer lies in human nature, which inspires people to overpower others and to be touchy, bigoted, selfish, greedy, deceitful, and to beat up innocent people and steal trucks. Nor could anybody tell me why the Isle of Dogs was named such, and I can only speculate the obvious:
The name may refer to sea dogs, since it is known that many Elizabethan sailors and pirates patronized the alehouses while resting from where they had been or waiting to sail out to wherever they were going.
I will go into great detail about pirates soon enough, for they certainly were a powerful presence when America was trying to get started, and we still have a problem with them today on our highways and high seas, although the pirates’ mode of transportation, equipment, and weapons have dramatically evolved over the centuries. It is unfortunate, I’m sorry to tell you, that modern pirates have the same personality and modus operandi as pirates of old. They remain cruel-hearted cutthroats whose creed is dead men tell no tales, thus justifying their seizing of ships and tractor trailers and murdering everyone in sight. Lest Virginians assume their history is untouched by such despicable character disorders, let me remind you that the Chesapeake Bay once bristled with pirates, and Virginia’s Tangier Island openly traded with and hosted them and, as legend has it, was visited by Blackbeard himself.
As I begin sharing truths with you, the reader, I hope you will reflect upon your own life and try very hard to put at least one other person’s needs and feelings before your own this day. Just as objects in the mirror are closer than they appear, so The Past rides our bumper along life’s highways and may, in fact, be inside the car with us. Who we are is who we were and the more things change, the less they do, unless we start with our hearts.
Be careful out there!
Two
Governor Bedford Crimm IV knew nothing about the Trooper Truth website until his press secretary, Major Trader, came to see him at 1:00 P.M. and set the “Brief Explanation” on the governor’s antique burlwood desk.
“Are you aware of this, Governor?” Trader asked.
Governor Crimm picked up the computer printout and squinted at it. “What is it, exactly?”
“Good question,” Trader grimly answered. “We’ve all known it was coming, but there’s been no way to check it out or anticipate its spin on things because Trooper Truth is a fake name. And there appears to be no way to trace this renegade trooper through the Internet.”
“I see,” the governor pondered as he strained blindly to pick out a word or two. “Am I to assume he’s one of ours? Oh,” he added, pleasantly surprised when Trader served him a chocolate brownie on a small Wedgwood plate. “Why, thank you.”
“Made fresh this morning from only the finest Belgian chocolate. I’m afraid I ate far too many of them, myself.”
“That wife of yours certainly can cook,” the governor said as he ate half the brownie in two bites. “I bet she doesn’t use mixes. Or did we already discuss that?” He ate the rest of the brownie, unable to resist anything chocolate.
“Everything from scratch.”
“A strange phrase, I’ve always thought,” the governor considered as he wiped his fingers on a handkerchief. “What is from scratch?”
“Ingredients. It has to do with–”
“Tsst, tsst.” The governor made his familiar hissing noise, which meant he did not want an answer to the question, but simply was expressing curiosity. “On with things,” he impatiently added.
“Yes,” Trader said. “Trooper Truth. There’s no one on the state police force with the last name of Truth, and no one over there claims to have any idea who Trooper Truth is. But prior to the posting of this first essay”–he indicated the printout–“there have been numerous promotions of the Trooper Truth website and when it was going to be launched. Whoever the person is, he’s well versed enough in the Internet to make sure his marketing ploys and ads have shown up everywhere you can imagine.”