Myth conceptions by Robert Asprin

It was kind of a nice feeling to have caused such a sensation, until I noticed several soldiers were taking time to strap on weapons and armor before joining the crowd.

“Aahz! “I whispered.

“Yeah, kid?”

“I thought this was supposed to be a peaceful meeting.”

“It is,” he assured me.

“But they’re arming!” I pointed out.

“Relax, kid,” he whispered back. “Remember, Ajax is covering us.”

I tried to focus on that thought. Then I saw what was apparently the officer approaching us flanked by two soldiers, and I focused on the swords they were all wearing.

“Aahz! “I hissed.

“Relax, kid,” Aahz advised me. “Remember Ajax.”

I remembered. I also remembered we were vastly outnumbered.

“I understand you gentlemen are emissaries of Possiltum?” the officer asked, coming to a halt in front of us.

I nodded stiffly, hoping the abruptness of my motion would be interpreted as annoyance rather than fear.

“Fine,” the officer smirked. “Then as the first representative of the Empire to contact a representative of Possiltum, I have the pleasure of formally declaring war on your kingdom.”

“What is your name?” Aahz asked casually.

“Claude,” the officer responded. “Why do you ask?”

“The historians like details,” Aahz shrugged.

“Well, Claude, as the first representative of Possiltum to meet with a representative of your Empire in times of war, it is our pleasure to demand your unconditional surrender.”

That got a smile out of the officer.

“Surrender?” he chortled. “To a cripple and a child? You must be mad. Even if I had the authority to do such a thing, I wouldn’t.”