Myth conceptions by Robert Asprin

“Work!” I shrieked, losing control slightly. “It’s going to be suicide.”

Aahz shook his head sadly.

“There you go overreacting again. It doesn’t have to be suicide. We’ve got a choice, you know.”

“Sure,” I retorted sarcastically. “We can get killed by the invaders or we can get killed by Badaxe’s boys. How silly of me not to have realized it. For a moment there I was getting worried.”

“Our choice,” Aahz corrected sternly, “is to go through with this lame-brained mission, or to take the money and run.”

A ray of hope broke through the dismal gloom that had burdened my mind.

“Aahz,” I said in genuine awe, “you’re a genius. C’mon, let’s get going.”

“Get going where?” Aahz asked.

“Back to the inn, of course,” I replied. “The sooner the better.”

“That wasn’t one of our options,” my mentor sneered.

“But you said-“

“I said ‘take the money and run’ not just ‘run,’ “ he corrected. “We aren’t going anywhere until we’ve seen Grimble.”

“But Aahz-“

“ ‘But Aahz’ nothing,” he interrupted fiercely.

“This little jaunt has cost us a bundle. We’re going to at least make it break even, if not show a small profit.”

“It hasn’t cost us anything,” I said bluntly.

“It cost us travel time and time away from your studies,” Aahz countered. “That’s worth something.”

“But-“

“Besides,” he continued loftily, “there are more important issues at stake here.”

“Like what?” I pressed.

“Well… like, urn …”

“There you are, gentlemen!”

We turned to find Grimble approaching us rapidly from behind.

“I was hoping to catch you after the briefing,” the chancellor continued, joining us. “Do you mind if I watch with you? I know you’ll be eager to start off on your campaign, but there are certain matters we must discuss before you leave.”