Myth conceptions by Robert Asprin

“He’s strange,” Julie announced, stabbing an accusing finger at Aahz. “What’s a nice boy like you doing hanging around with strange people? Hey?”

“It’s the war,” I said apologetically. “You know what they say about strange bedfellows.”

“You seem to be doin’ all right for yourself!” Julie winked, then leered at Tanda.

“You want I should clean up his act, Boss?” Brockhurst asked grimly, stepping forward.

“See!” Julie exploded. “That’s what I mean. This is no way to learn warfare. Tell you what. Why don’t you let me fix you up with a job, hey? What do you say to that?”

“What pay scale?” Aahz asked.

“Aahz!” I scowled, then turned back to Julie. “Sorry, but we’ve already got a job . . . defending Possiltum. I appreciate your offer, but I don’t want to leave a job unfinished.”

“What have I been telling you?” Julie appealed to his officers. “All the good material has been taken already. Why can’t you bring me recruits like this, eh?”

This was all very flattering, but I clung tenaciously to the purpose of our meeting.

“Um . . . Jul. . . I mean. Big Julie,” I continued. “About defending Possiltum. Couldn’t you find another kingdom somewhere to attack? We really don’t want to have to fight you.”

“You don’t want to fight?” Julie erupted sarcastically. “You think I want to fight? You think I like doing this for a living? You think my boys like killing and conquering all the time?”

“Well… “I began tactfully.

Big Julie wasn’t listening. He was out of his seat and pacing up and down, gesturing violently to emphasize his words.