Myth conceptions by Robert Asprin

He paused, regarding us with those glittering eyes.

“Because I tell you here and now, should you emerge victorious from the impending battle, you will not live to collect your reward. The king may rule the court, but word of what happens in the kingdom comes to him through my soldiers, and those soldiers will be posted along your return path to the palace, with orders to bring back word of your accidental demise, even if they have to arrange it. Do I make myself clear?”

Chapter Eight:

“Anything worth doing, is worth doing for a profit.”

-TERESIAS

WITH a massive effort of self-control, I contained myself not only after we had left the general’s quarters, but until we were out of earshot of the honor guard. When I finally spoke, I managed to keep the telltale note of hysteria out of my voice which would have betrayed my true feelings.

“Like you said, Aahz,” I commented casually, “there are armies and there are armies. Right?”

Aahz wasn’t fooled for a minute.

“Hysterics won’t get us anywhere, kid,” he observed. “What we need is sound thinking.”

“Excuse me,” I said pointedly, “but isn’t ‘sound thinking’ what got us into the mess in the first place?”

“Okay, okay!” Aahz grimaced. “I’ll admit I made a few oversights when I originally appraised the situation.”

“A few oversights?” I echoed incredulously. “Aahz, this ‘cushy job’ you set me up for doesn’t bear even the vaguest resemblance to what you described when you sold me on the idea.”

“I know, kid,” Aahz sighed. “I definitely owe you an apology. This sounds like it’s actually going to be work.”