The Tragedy of Pudd’nhead Wilson by Mark Twain

The widow was ready, Rowena was ready, so also were the foreigners.

The party moved along the hall, the twins in advance, and entered

the open parlor door, whence issued a low hum of conversation.

The twins took a position near the door, the widow stood at Luigi’s side,

Rowena stood beside Angelo, and the march-past and the introductions began.

The widow was all smiles and contentment. She received the procession

and passed it on to Rowena.

“Good mornin’, Sister Cooper”–handshake.

“Good morning, Brother Higgins–Count Luigi Capello, Mr. Higgins”–

handshake, followed by a devouring stare and “I’m glad to see ye,”

on the part of Higgins, and a courteous inclination of the head

and a pleasant “Most happy!” on the part of Count Luigi.

“Good mornin’, Roweny”–handshake.

“Good morning, Mr. Higgins–present you to Count Angelo Capello.”

Handshake, admiring stare, “Glad to see ye”–courteous nod,

smily “Most happy!” and Higgins passes on.

None of these visitors was at ease, but, being honest people,

they didn’t pretend to be. None of them had ever seen a person

bearing a title of nobility before, and none had been expecting to

see one now, consequently the title came upon them as a kind of

pile-driving surprise and caught them unprepared. A few tried to rise

to the emergency, and got out an awkward “My lord,” or “Your lordship,”

or something of that sort, but the great majority were overwhelmed by

the unaccustomed word and its dim and awful associations with gilded

courts and stately ceremony and anointed kingship, so they only

fumbled through the handshake and passed on, speechless. Now and then,

as happens at all receptions everywhere, a more than ordinary friendly soul

blocked the procession and kept it waiting while he inquired how the

brothers liked the village, and how long they were going to stay,

and if their family was well, and dragged in the weather, and hoped

it would get cooler soon, and all that sort of thing, so as to be

able to say, when he got home, “I had quite a long talk with them”;

but nobody did or said anything of a regrettable kind, and so the great

affair went through to the end in a creditable and satisfactory fashion.

General conversation followed, and the twins drifted about

from group to group, talking easily and fluently and winning

approval, compelling admiration and achieving favor from all.

The widow followed their conquering march with a proud eye,

and every now and then Rowena said to herself with deep satisfaction,

“And to think they are ours–all ours!”

There were no idle moments for mother or daughter. Eager inquiries

concerning the twins were pouring into their enchanted ears all

the time; each was the constant center of a group of breathless listeners;

each recognized that she knew now for the first time the real meaning

of that great word Glory, and perceived the stupendous value of it,

and understand why men in all ages had been willing to throw away

meaner happiness, treasure, life itself, to get a taste of its sublime

and supreme joy. Napoleon and all his kind stood accounted for–

and justified.

When Rowena had at last done all her duty by the people in the parlor,

she went upstairs to satisfy the longings of an overflow meeting there,

for the parlor was not big enough to hold all the comers.

Again she was besieged by eager questioners, and again she swam in

sunset seas of glory. When the forenoon was nearly gone, she recognized

with a pang that this most splendid episode of her life was almost over,

that nothing could prolong it, that nothing quite its equal could ever

fall to her fortune again. But never mind, it was sufficient unto itself,

the grand occasion had moved on an ascending scale from the start,

and was a noble and memorable success. If the twins could but do some

crowning act now to climax it, something usual, something startling,

something to concentrate upon themselves the company’s loftiest admiration,

something in the nature of an electric surprise–

Here a prodigious slam-banging broke out below, and everybody rushed

down to see. It was the twins, knocking out a classic four-handed

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