The Tragedy of Pudd’nhead Wilson by Mark Twain

back alley, he went to the reception himself, and added several

of the valuables of that house to his takings.

After this long digression we have now arrived once more at the point

where Pudd’nhead Wilson, while waiting for the arrival of the twins

on that same Friday evening, sat puzzling over the strange apparition

of that morning–a girl in young Tom Driscoll’s bedroom; fretting,

and guessing, and puzzling over it, and wondering who the shameless

creature might be.

CHAPTER 11

Pudd’nhead’s Thrilling Discovery

There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three

form a rising scale of compliment: 1–to tell him you have read one

of his books; 2–to tell him you have read all of his books;

3–to ask him to let you read the manuscript of his forthcoming book.

No. 1 admits you to his respect; No. 2 admits you to his admiration;

No. 3 carries you clear into his heart.

–Pudd’nhead Wilson’s Calendar

As to the Adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.

–Pudd’nhead Wilson’s Calendar

The twins arrived presently, and talk began. It flowed along

chattily and sociably, and under its influence the new friendship

gathered ease and strength. Wilson got out his Calendar, by request,

and read a passage or two from it, which the twins praised quite cordially.

This pleased the author so much that he complied gladly when the asked

him to lend them a batch of the work to read at home. In the course of

their wide travels, they had found out that there are three sure ways of

pleasing an author; they were now working the best of the three.

There was an interruption now. Young Driscoll appeared, and joined

the party. He pretended to be seeing the distinguished strangers for

the first time when they rose to shake hands; but this was only a blind,

as he had already had a glimpse of them, at the reception, while robbing

the house. The twins made mental note that he was smooth-faced and

rather handsome, and smooth and undulatory in his movements–graceful,

in fact. Angelo thought he had a good eye; Luigi thought there was

something veiled and sly about it. Angelo thought he had a pleasant

free-and-easy way of talking; Luigi thought it was more so than was agreeable.

Angelo thought he was a sufficiently nice young man; Luigi reserved

his decision. Tom’s first contribution to the conversation was a

question which he had put to Wilson a hundred times before.

It was always cheerily and good-natured put, and always inflicted a

little pang, for it touched a secret sore; but this time the pang

was sharp, since strangers were present.

“Well, how does the law come on? Had a case yet?”

Wilson bit his lip, but answered, “No–not yet,” with as much

indifference as he could assume. Judge Driscoll had generously left

the law feature out of Wilson’s biography which he had furnished

to the twins. Young Tom laughed pleasantly, and said:

“Wilson’s a lawyer, gentlemen, but he doesn’t practice now.”

The sarcasm bit, but Wilson kept himself under control,

and said without passion:

“I don’t practice, it is true. It is true that I have never had a case,

and have had to earn a poor living for twenty years as an expert

accountant in a town where I can’t get a hold of a set of books to

untangle as often as I should like. But it is also true that I did

myself well for the practice of the law. By the time I was your age,

Tom, I had chosen a profession, and was soon competent to enter upon it.”

Tom winced. “I never got a chance to try my hand at it, and I may

never get a chance; and yet if I ever do get it, I shall be found ready,

for I have kept up my law studies all these years.”

“That’s it; that’s good grit! I like to see it. I’ve a notion to throw

all my business your way. My business and your law practice ought to

make a pretty gay team, Dave,” and the young fellow laughed again.

“If you will throw–” Wilson had thought of the girl in Tom’s bedroom,

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