The Tragedy of Pudd’nhead Wilson by Mark Twain

I paddled mo’n two hours, den I warn’t worried no mo’, so I quit

paddlin’ en floated down de current, considerin’ what I ‘uz gwine

to do if I didn’t have to drown myself. I made up some plans,

en floated along, turnin’ ’em over in my mine. Well, when it ‘uz a

little pas’ midnight, as I reckoned, en I had come fifteen or

twenty mile, I see de lights o’ a steamboat layin’ at de bank,

whah dey warn’t no town en no woodyard, en putty soon I ketched

de shape o’ de chimbly tops ag’in’ de stars, en den good gracious me,

I ‘most jumped out o’ my skin for joy! It ‘uz de GRAN’ MOGUL–

I ‘uz chambermaid on her for eight seasons in de Cincinnati en

Orleans trade. I slid ‘long pas’–don’t see nobody stirrin’ nowhah–

hear ’em a-hammerin’ away in de engine room, den I knowed

what de matter was–some o’ de machinery’s broke. I got asho’

below de boat and turn’ de canoe loose, den I goes ‘long up, en

dey ‘uz jes one plank out, en I step’ ‘board de boat. It ‘uz

pow’ful hot, deckhan’s en roustabouts ‘uz sprawled aroun’ asleep

on de fo’cas’l’, de second mate, Jim Bangs, he sot dah on de

bitts wid his head down, asleep–‘ca’se dat’s de way de second

mate stan’ de cap’n’s watch!–en de ole watchman, Billy Hatch,

he ‘uz a-noddin’ on de companionway;–en I knowed ’em all; en, lan’,

but dey did look good! I says to myself, I wished old marster’d

come along NOW en try to take me–bless yo’ heart, I’s ‘mong

frien’s, I is. So I tromped right along ‘mongst ’em, en went up

on de b’iler deck en ‘way back aft to de ladies’ cabin guard,

en sot down dah in de same cheer dat I’d sot in ‘mos’ a hund’d

million times, I reckon; en it ‘uz jist home ag’in, I tell you!

“In ’bout an hour I heard de ready bell jingle, en den de

racket begin. Putty soon I hear de gong strike. ‘Set her back

on de outside,’ I says to myself. ‘I reckon I knows dat music!’

I hear de gong ag’in. ‘Come ahead on de inside,’ I says.

Gong ag’in. ‘Stop de outside.’ gong ag’in. ‘Come ahead on de outside–

now we’s pinted for Sent Louis, en I’s outer de woods en

ain’t got to drown myself at all.’ I knowed de MOGUL ‘uz in de

Sent Louis trade now, you see. It ‘uz jes fair daylight when we

passed our plantation, en I seed a gang o’ niggers en white folks

huntin’ up en down de sho’, en troublin’ deyselves a good deal ’bout me;

but I warn’t troublin’ myself none ’bout dem.

“‘Bout dat time Sally Jackson, dat used to be my second

chambermaid en ‘uz head chambermaid now, she come out on de guard,

en ‘uz pow’ful glad to see me, en so ‘uz all de officers;

en I tole ’em I’d got kidnapped en sole down de river,

en dey made me up twenty dollahs en give it to me, en Sally she rigged

me out wid good clo’es, en when I got here I went straight to

whah you used to wuz, en den I come to dis house, en dey say

you’s away but ‘spected back every day; so I didn’t dast to go

down de river to Dawson’s, ‘ca’se I might miss you.

“Well, las’ Monday I ‘uz pass’n by one o’ dem places in

fourth street whah deh sticks up runaway nigger bills, en he’ps

to ketch ’em, en I seed my marster! I ‘mos’ flopped down on de

groun’, I felt so gone. He had his back to me, en ‘uz talkin’ to

de man en givin’ him some bills–nigger bills, I reckon, en I’s

de nigger. He’s offerin’ a reward–dat’s it. Ain’t I right,

don’t you reckon?”

Tom had been gradually sinking into a state of ghastly terror,

and he said to himself, now: “I’m lost, no matter what

turn things take! This man has said to me that he thinks there

was something suspicious about that sale. he said he had a

letter from a passenger on the GRAND MOGUL saying that Roxy came

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