The Tragedy of Pudd’nhead Wilson by Mark Twain

resolved to fight, himself, he thought he might get killed and

not have a chance to forgive me any more in this life, so he made

the will again, and I’ve seen it, and it’s all right. But–”

“Oh, thank goodness, den we’s safe ag’in!–safe! en so what

did you want to come here en talk sich dreadful–”

“Hold ON, I tell you, and let me finish. The swag I gathered

won’t half square me up, and the first thing we know, my creditors–

well, you know what’ll happen.”

Roxana dropped her chin, and told her son to leave her alone–

she must think this matter out. Presently she said impressively:

“You got to go mighty keerful now, I tell you! En here’s what you

got to do. He didn’t git killed, en if you gives him de least reason,

he’ll bust de will ag’in, en dat’s de _las’_ time, now you hear me!

So–you’s got to show him what you kin do in de nex’ few days.

You got to be pison good, en let him see it; you got to do everything

dat’ll make him b’lieve in you, en you got to sweeten aroun’ ole Aunt Pratt,

too–she’s pow’ful strong with de Jedge, en de bes’ frien’ you got.

Nex’, you’ll go ‘long away to Sent Louis, en dat’ll _keep_ him in yo’ favor.

Den you go en make a bargain wid dem people. You tell ’em he ain’t gwine

to live long–en dat’s de fac’, too–en tell ’em you’ll pay ’em intrust,

en big intrust, too–ten per–what you call it?”

“Ten percent a month?”

“Dat’s it. Den you take and sell yo’ truck aroun’, a little at a time,

en pay de intrust. How long will it las’?”

“I think there’s enough to pay the interest five or six months.”

“Den you’s all right. If he don’t die in six months, dat don’t make

no diff’rence–Providence’ll provide. You’s gwine to be safe–

if you behaves.” She bent an austere eye on him and added,

“En you IS gwine to behave–does you know dat?”

He laughed and said he was going to try, anyway. She did not unbend.

She said gravely:

“Tryin’ ain’t de thing. You’s gwine to _do_ it. You ain’t gwine

to steal a pin–‘ca’se it ain’t safe no mo’; en you ain’t gwine into

no bad comp’ny–not even once, you understand; en you ain’t gwine

to drink a drop–nary a single drop; en you ain’t gwine to gamble

one single gamble–not one! Dis ain’t what you’s gwine to try to do,

it’s what you’s gwine to DO. En I’ll tell you how I knows it.

Dis is how. I’s gwine to foller along to Sent Louis my own self;

en you’s gwine to come to me every day o’ your life, en I’ll look

you over; en if you fails in one single one o’ dem things–jist _one_–

I take my oath I’ll come straight down to dis town en tell de Jedge

you’s a nigger en a slave–en _prove_ it!” She paused to let her words

sink home. Then she added, “Chambers, does you b’lieve me when I says dat?”

Tom was sober enough now. There was no levity in his voice

when he answered:

“Yes, Mother, I know, now, that I am reformed–and permanently.

Permanently–and beyond the reach of any human temptation.”

“Den g’long home en begin!”

CHAPTER 15

The Robber Robbed

Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.

–Pudd’nhead Wilson’s Calendar

Behold, the fool saith, “Put not all thine eggs in the one basket”–

which is but a manner of saying, “Scatter your money and

your attention”; but the wise man saith, “Put all your eggs in

the one basket and–_watch that basket!_”

–Pudd’nhead Wilson’s Calendar

What a time of it Dawson’s Landing was having! All its life

it had been asleep, but now it hardly got a chance for a nod,

so swiftly did big events and crashing surprises come along in one

another’s wake: Friday morning, first glimpse of Real Nobility,

also grand reception at Aunt Patsy Cooper’s, also great robber raid;

Friday evening, dramatic kicking of the heir of the chief citizen in

presence of four hundred people; Saturday morning, emergence as

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