The Tragedy of Pudd’nhead Wilson by Mark Twain

If they were guilty, they ought to have been running out of the

house at the same time that she was running to that room.

If they had had such a strong instinct toward self-preservation as

to move them to kill that unarmed man, what had become of it now,

when it should have been more alert than ever. Would any of us

have remained there? Let us not slander our intelligence to that degree.

“Much stress has been laid upon the fact that the accused

offered a very large reward for the knife with which this murder

was done; that no thief came forward to claim that extraordinary

reward; that the latter fact was good circumstantial evidence

that the claim that the knife had been stolen was a vanity and a

fraud; that these details taken in connection with the memorable

and apparently prophetic speech of the deceased concerning that

knife, and the finally discovery of that very knife in the fatal

room where no living person was found present with the

slaughtered man but the owner of the knife and his brother, form

an indestructible chain of evidence which fixed the crime upon

those unfortunate strangers.

“But I shall presently ask to be sworn, and shall testify

that there was a large reward offered for the THIEF, also;

and it was offered secretly and not advertised; that this fact was

indiscreetly mentioned–or at least tacitly admitted–in what was

supposed to be safe circumstances, but may NOT have been.

The thief may have been present himself. [Tom Driscoll had been

looking at the speaker, but dropped his eyes at this point.]

In that case he would retain the knife in his possession, not daring

to offer it for sale, or for pledge in a pawnshop. [There was a

nodding of heads among the audience by way of admission that this

was not a bad stroke.] I shall prove to the satisfaction of the

jury that there WAS a person in Judge Driscoll’s room several

minutes before the accused entered it. [This produced a strong

sensation; the last drowsy head in the courtroom roused up now,

and made preparation to listen.] If it shall seem necessary,

I will prove by the Misses Clarkson that they met a veiled person–

ostensibly a woman–coming out of the back gate a few minutes

after the cry for help was heard. This person was not a woman,

but a man dressed in woman’s clothes.” Another sensation.

Wilson had his eye on Tom when he hazarded this guess, to see

what effect it would produce. He was satisfied with the result,

and said to himself, “It was a success–he’s hit!”

The object of that person in that house was robbery, not

murder. It is true that the safe was not open, but there was an

ordinary cashbox on the table, with three thousand dollars in it.

It is easily supposable that the thief was concealed in the

house; that he knew of this box, and of its owner’s habit of

counting its contents and arranging his accounts at night–if he

had that habit, which I do not assert, of course–that he tried

to take the box while its owner slept, but made a noise and was

seized, and had to use the knife to save himself from capture;

and that he fled without his booty because he heard help coming.

“I have now done with my theory, and will proceed to the

evidences by which I propose to try to prove its soundness.”

Wilson took up several of his strips of glass. When the audience

recognized these familiar mementos of Pudd’nhead’s old time

childish “puttering” and folly, the tense and funereal interest

vanished out of their faces, and the house burst into volleys of

relieving and refreshing laughter, and Tom chirked up and joined

in the fun himself; but Wilson was apparently not disturbed.

He arranged his records on the table before him, and said:

“I beg the indulgence of the court while I make a few

remarks in explanation of some evidence which I am about to

introduce, and which I shall presently ask to be allowed to

verify under oath on the witness stand. Every human being

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